EM'S JOURNEY

my vestibular neuritis + vestibular migraine story

I'll always remember the day that I was bombarded with a vestibular condition seemingly out-of-nowhere, but I wouldn't understand what that even meant for many months later.  In short, it flipped my world upside down. I went from feeling in control to losing my sense of self in the world, quite literally. Feeling off kilter, like I was living on a moving dock, vision sort of skewed, looking at my life from the outside, and anxiety coursing through my system... were a few of the symptoms that consumed my days. The first year my symptoms were every second of every day. I had no warning that a vestibular something would hit and certainly wasn’t prepared for it. [I share my whole story in my book and in this video]

I had experienced a cold and ear infection the week prior, but didn’t think anything of it. I expected my body to bounce back and that I would be just fine. I never could have predicted what happened next. I was sitting at my computer at work and everything just shifted in an instant. My world went sideways, I felt dizzy, disconnected and I couldn’t focus on the words on my computer screen. I stumbled across the office to find my friend and tell her what was happening. I was terrified.

There are no easy words to describe the onset of a vestibular something (in my case vestibular neuritis which triggered a cycle of vestibular migraines, which I’d find out over a year down the road). The thing is I never would have understood any of it until I was sinking deep in the chaos.

In the darkest moments, I held tight onto potential for improvement and gratitude for all the good in my life.  I ate a plant-based diet to fuel my health and support my body in healing.  I used pure essential oils to support my health and work through the many all-consuming symptoms, both physical and emotional. I embraced various holistic modalities and worked with a holistic doctor and neurologist (eventually). Around two-years in, with persistence and hope, I started to truly feel like myself again.

All I had longed for throughout the battle with the vestibular stuff was to feel like myself. I knew I was still there deep within, but my physical well-being had been so hurt (it felt destroyed) and my heart wounded, and it would take a fight to come through. I uncovered my relentless drive to push forward, my heart to help others and inspire a perspective of gratitude, and my passion to unfold how this experience would shape my life.

In my book Uncovering Bliss: A Journey With A Vestibular Condition and Beyond I tell my story of getting hit with a vestibular condition seemingly out of the blue and expose the mind and body experience that took place in the darkness of my vestibular something (my term to encompass the broadness of vestibular conditions). My mission with this book is to truly showcase how it felt to journey through an invisible health crisis and share a chapter of my life when I felt lost, frightened, and desperate for answers. I openly uncover my thoughts and feelings as the months passed by, detail what healing looked like and how following the light within me ultimately became my guide.  I share the awakening of recovering my wellness.

There are many forms of migraines and they often taken different shapes. Vestibular Migraines are a beast of their own.  In my twenties (over a decade ago), I was experiencing silent migraines, meaning I didn't experience any pain with these episodes. At the time I had absolutely no idea what was happening. I went through a period of a few months when I felt disconnected from my body and just that off feeling most of the time. I kept going back to the doctor saying something felt off. I couldn't put words to it. I had other experiences of the disconnection (what I later learned was the symptom of derealization) setting in and passing within the hour. I never thought about it again... until years later.

In the fall of 2016, I had a dizzy spell that became a nightmare. In short, I experienced a cycle of vestibular migraines over the course of a year (and really closer to 18 months) with little reprieve.  If you suffer from a vestibular something, my heart goes out to you. If you live with vestibular migraines, I know there's a part of you that understands me completely. If you're finding this space while in a dark place, I hope that it becomes your light.

I can only share what has helped me and continues to support my health every single day. In my experience having support - both for the mind and body - is a game changer when it comes to migraines. It has the power to take a desperate situation and make it bold and empowering. I know that's a lot to put out there, but I mean it. During one of my most intense attacks, I felt like all my control had been sucked from my body in an instant. But then moments later, I was doing everything in my power to fight back and come out on top.

I do not believe that my vestibular something has to dictate my life. This journey has been four+ years of learning and exploring many routes to heal my vestibular something, and I'm still journeying. I have recovered my health though and I will continue to learn and elevate my wellness through the lifestyle I embrace.

I'm so happy to connect with you! If you're new around here, be sure to visit the Wellness Hub.