vestibular migraine attack: the ugly + beautiful moments

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Hi there,

It's been seven beautiful months since I've had an intense vestibular migraine attack.  As I type this, I'm so thankful that I can even make that statement and the way my body has recovered.  Of course, I'm still processing it all.

Yesterday had really (really) trying moments.  It also had beyond beautiful moments. 

In the early afternoon, I felt it start.

My anxiety spiked - whole body raging anxiety that didn't feel mental at all, but more a physical reaction.  I then felt myself start to disconnect from my body.  I suddenly was there yet feeling entirely outside my body as if we weren't the same at all.  I fought back as I always do, but I knew when it was time to just listen.  I got myself home safely.  Threw up at a stop light  and when I got home stumbled inside trying to pay attention to where my feet were stepping. 

I sobbed into my husband’s loving arms that I was having a vestibular migraine attack.  My eyes didn’t want to focus and I felt that dizzy awfulness that’s pure torture.  Sobbing was the release I needed and then I worked to compose myself, climbing under the covers, winter coat and boots still on.  Two years with a vestibular condition and I still have really hard moments. 

I massaged Basil and Peppermint essential oil on my stomach and on my temples many times over the next hour.  Slowly, I felt myself start to find ground, the nausea starting to relent. 

I was rattled to the core, but I was ok.

As I was laying on my side not daring to make a move, all I could think about was all the other vestibular warriors out there.  What once felt so isolating, is something I know so many battle.  We are not alone and I thought about how many other people were using all their energy in that moment to fight an invisible condition.  My heart goes out to them and I’m in awe of their strength.

And this little man of mine pictured above, who has been my superhero through it all (he was just 3 months old when it hit), was just what my soul needed.  I know it sounds silly, but he just gets it.  He climbed into bed with me and rested on me and all was right in the world. 

Go hug the people who fill you with love and overflowing gratitude that they’re in your universe, supporting you along this journey with a vestibular something.

xoxo,
​Em

{for my full story with a vestibular condition, visit here}