The anxiety that came with a vestibular condition could (and often did) bring me to my knees.

Crumbling on my bedroom floor because it just felt so heavy.

Panic attacks in the bathroom at work and then coming out with a smile on my face like everything was fine.

Learning to power through when my system felt like it was on fire.

Uncovering how I could calm my mind + body and fight back.

Vestibular disorders are intertwined with anxiety and distinguishing the condition from the panic is a fruitless task.  But, the anxiety was crippling.  Or was that just the vestibular condition?  My point is that it's all mixed together and that's an important piece to remember, because it felt like a cop-out when a  doctor tried to simply say that I was just dealing with anxiety.  I've connected with many other vestibular warriors who have been told that it's just anxiety too.

But anxiety is a symptom, and an all-consuming one at that.​

The first year with vestibular neuritis was as if my body was in a constant state of alarm.  I once had a chiropractor (that I highly respect) tell me that my body was in a state of trauma.  Those words were comforting because in that moment that is exactly how it felt.  

My body was distressed and the heartache that came with that only heightened the panic.

There were a number of things that I started incorporating into my wellness routine to get on top of the anxiety and it all helped so much.  Was it an immediate fix?  No.  It took dedication and developing a wellness routine that would become the foundation of my healing.  

If you feel that the anxiety is taking control of your wellbeing, I hear you.  I had to look it in the eye.  I even sat with it in meditation which felt like I had just stepped out into a hail storm with no warning.  But once I felt it, I knew what I was working with.  I was determined to take back my control, and that's exactly what I did.

There were many instances of what felt like ten steps forward and then five steps back.  Forward is forward regardless of the pace though. 

I used essential oils every day to support my wellness.  I used them proactively and in the moment with symptoms.  There are many oils that I use (and I share lots on Instagram), so please know that I'm only discussing a few favorites below.

​Lavender is one of my favorites.  Rolling it on my temples when I felt a spike, inhaling it from my hands to intake some calm, and applying it to my feet bottoms (diluted) before bed to support overall health.

I longed to feel grounded.  I quite literally visualized what it would feel like to feel grounded in my body.  I listened to a chiropractor who told me to stand in the grass and imagine a grounded state.  I daydreamed about it.  Dreamy, right?

Onto the next: 

The Balance blend spoke to me on an emotional level.  Its properties are everything I was seeking.  I started my day be rolling it on my feet bottoms and dabbing it on my wrists and taking in its goodness.  I started to build an association with it and it became my oh so lovely grounded friend.

When anxiety was streaming, I knew I needed to uplift my mental state.  It's so easy to get caught in its force, so it took work to shift my state.  I used Wild Orange in my home to set the stage.

For me, fear was anxiety's buddy.  And that's a big weight to lift.  Because remember anxiety was just one factor of the vestibular condition.  So I truly needed to balance my energy and create the calm + happy environment outside that I longed for inside.  I'd diffuse Wild Orange (or Balance, Lavender or another oil) to shift the energy in my home and elicit that beautiful emotional response.  

I'd sit with the diffuser pumping, letting my system rage, Balance on my feet bottoms, and Lavender behind my ears... that's a whole lot of fight.  And amongst the storm, I'd find my happy calm.

That's why I love oils.  They're empowering and a strong player in my support system.

Oils are certainly not the whole story.

Foam rolling, move + meditate sessions (up to 5x/week in some periods), magnesium drinks, supplements, water, healing foods, connecting with others, and eventually running the trails which opened my soul and released so much tension...

I think it starts with making small shifts that are impactful and filled with hope. 

Create the calm that you crave.

I started sharing about oils because they were making a difference in my world and a light in my dark.  I'm here to support you along your path, too.  

Dear Vestibular Warrior,

​I know there’s a part of me that you understand completely because you’ve been in the same all-consuming moments that come with vestibular stuff.  You’ve probably had moments where you felt so out of control of what was happening to your body, and that may have left you feeling entirely powerless. 

I hope that you’ve discovered that you are certainly not powerless.  You are magnificent and relentlessly fighting back.  I know this because just the fact that we're connecting means you care big time, and you’re striving to feel better... to feel like you.

The truth is that there's a lot of variety with vestibular conditions.  At the same time there's a string running through it all, so even if my experience isn't identical to yours, there's certainly a resemblance. 

Vestibular stuff disconnects us from the world in so many ways.  Sort of ironic because in the same sense, it's connected you and I. 

The more I talk with other vestibular warriors, the more I realize that so many of our stories have the same chapters:  trying to get a diagnosis, finding a doctor that gets it, handling the anxiety, coping with the fact that most people won't understand what it's like, figuring out what helps and what hurts, uncovering strength we didn't know existed, finding gratitude that only comes with climbing tough mountains... the list goes on.  

One of the first doctors I saw after the initial intense attack told me that I could feel like this for a month.  In that moment, that thought crushed me.  How could this last a month?  How would I get through...?  I laugh as I type this because what I didn't know then was that symptoms would be 24/7 for much longer than a month...it was close to 15 months before I truly touched "normalcy".  And I feel beyond lucky that I can say that.  I know that's not the reality for many.

I believe that gaining a soulful perspective on how I wanted to feel was my guiding light.  I know in the beginning it was "I want to feel how I used to".  But, over time that evolved into, I just want to feel grounded in this body that's fought like hell for me.  I didn't want to go back to before,  because I believe I became more "me" having gone through this experience.  I had walked an incredibly bumpy trail and gotten to the  other side of mountain... No way I was going back to the start. 

I eat foods that fuel and nourish my wellness and I believe in the power of food as medicine.  For me, that's a plant-based diet.  There was a period I even questioned my vegan diet- something I'd embraced 10 years earlier (read this post, if that interests you).  I use essential oils, which was a bit daunting when I was brand new to them, but quickly turned into something that helped me heal and support my body both emotionally and physically.  That's my supportive system, but certainly not the entire picture.

I know that putting my diet at the forefront and having a holistic support system was a huge step in a beautiful direction.  Like I was walking along the trail for days with rain pouring down and someone walked up next to me with an umbrella... and a  muffin.  That's why I share all I do-  I'm just passing out umbrellas and muffins on the trail.  You get me, right?

Hi out there!  How are you today?  I know you can't really answer, but I would love to hear from you.  
I made a decision this weekend.  My heart feels ready and my soul is just bursting to open up.  So, I'm going to share my journey with a vestibular condition - the full story (eventually, over several posts).  I want to put the twists and turns in writing, not only for myself, but for all the vestibular warriors out there.  And even if you aren't dealing with a vestibular "something", we all have life events that are monumental.  That shape us and we come out changed.  I'm sharing because it's been such a profound journey of getting to know, well, myself.  I want to put hope and inspiration out to the universe and to anyone who needs it, because that's what I so desperately needed 861 days ago when it all started. 

861 days ago as I sat on the couch in my family room barely able to keep me eyes focused without a concerted effort and the world floating beneath me, I needed someone to look me in my lost eyes and say:

This is going to be really, really hard and it's going to test you on every level.  There will be days that you'll get through just by focusing on the moments.  But, you will uncover true beauty in this life.  You will cry and have hopeless moments too, but you will get up after every fall, and you will get through this.  And then you will uncover all that makes up you, and you'll be thankful for this mountain that shifted your perspective and encouraged you to uncover your bliss.

And if that's what you needed to hear right now, I'm so glad that we've connected.   

​A part of me wishes I had been more open about it back when I was truly in the throes of it, but ultimately I know I wasn't ready... or able to.  I was so lost and scared as to what I could say.  I didn't want to admit to myself (yet) what was unfolding.  I had no answers as to what I was dealing with and barely knew what I'd feel like one moment to the next.  Google searches were more helpful than any doctor I'd talked to. 

​But, somewhere in the thick of it, I knew I'd relentlessly push forward.  I had no clue what that would look like, but my blind hope was all I could grasp onto.

[Note, I'm going to skim many details, only because I share my whole story: here.]

On October 31, 2016, I was hit with vestibular neuritis, which triggered a cycle of vestibular migraines with no relief in between- 24/7 symptoms. I had just returned to work earlier that month from maternity leave.  My boys were two and 3-months old.  There are so many details that blur together that first year, but that first week I remember so clearly.

Crawling around my house because walking was impossible.  If I did walk, I was holding the walls because spatially I was disconnected from myself. 

My husband gently placing our newborn in my arms so I could feed him.  I remember quietly sobbing as I fed him so thankful for his love and so sad because in many ways I felt like I was missing out.

Seeing multiple doctors and trying to make it clear what had happened and how I felt.  And I remember being angry with the world when I realized that no doctor was going to fix me, or even understand my situation.    

I remember being incredibly scared and without answers.

I looked at my two boys and husband, who of course could not understand how terrible I felt, how disconnected I was from the body I was sitting in, and how disorienting the world was around me.  The honest truth is unless you've experienced a vestibular something, you can't truly understand it.  And I'm glad for that, because I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

861 days ago was a beautiful time in my life that became bombarded with really tough stuff.  It was actually sort of a bizarre experience going back through my phone this weekend searching for photos from that time period 2+ years ago, mainly because I didn't really want to see what I looked like.  Although I didn't find many photos of myself from that time, most of the ones I did were of me smiling.  Smiling?  That surprised me.  Vestibular stuff often feels very dreamlike and in my worst moments I wondered if by some miracle I was dreaming and would wake up from this nightmare.  

I look at this picture (below) of my youngest and I, which I took a few months in, and I'm reminded how much love and goodness I had looking me in the eyes and saying: you CAN do this and you WILL do this.  I had gone to the hairdresser to get my hair highlighted believing that if I looked put together on the outside, maybe the rest of me would catch up... in time.

One of the biggest factors with vestibular conditions is that they are invisible to the world. 

I could be standing in the grocery store barely handling the blaring lights, feeling like I was swaying on a moving dock to the waves, my eyes working overtime to make the world stay in place, and full body anxiety coursing like fire to my system, and the lady behind me could compliment me on how put-together I looked with my two little boys.  In moments like that I could only smile back, but later cry in the shower because keeping up a façade of "I'm totally ok" is exhausting and soul crushing.

But, pretending I was ok long before I truly was also saved me in a really big way.  More on that in a future post...

As I recount these details, I'm bursting with gratitude at the progress I've made over the last 861 days.  Yesterday was a 99.9% better day.  Let's just call it a 100 because why not?  One hundred percent feeling-amazing-day and mind + body bliss.  And I have lots of those kind of days... now.  Most, actually.  

I was at the library with my husband and boys and they were playing on the computers.  I stepped away for a moment and stood in the middle of the kids section just taking in my world,  how beautifully steady it was and how the sun shining through the windows felt freaking fantastic.  My husband looked over and laughed understanding what I was doing.  He's well aware of my stopping to take in my settings and how I'm feeling.  There was certainly a time when I never paused to truly take in my surroundings because how it felt was beyond awful, and I couldn't emotionally go there. 

​There's a lot for me to share on what got me to this point from 861 days ago, and I promise I will.  I will pour out my heart and soul and together we will elevate our wellness.

I believe that we can heal from the inside out.  It's not instantaneous by any stretch and it takes patience and time.  It doesn't necessary mean we're exactly the same as we once were.  But healing from the inside out is empowering and lifechanging.  What if we shifted our perspective and looked just at how we've progressed? 

I'm a huge believer in holistic wellness and a plant-based diet.  I also believe that western medicine is a beautiful thing when used appropriately, and finding a doctor that finally understood my situation (18 months in by the way) was a wonderful thing.

861 days ago was the fresh start I didn't know would happen.  And I certainly had no idea I'd be grateful for it.

Wherever this post finds you, whether it's top of the mountain or at the bottom looking up, let's come together and help each other climb.

I'm just getting started.  I'll be back soon!

​Em :)

{p.s. I created a new Instagram account where I'll be share all things vestibular stuff, from healing, food, supplements, holistic support, mindset... & beyond.  I'd love to connect!}

Hi hi!

Today I'm sharing my go-to smoothie recipe that I make basically every day during the work week.  The weekends are for pancakes (LOVE this recipe), but often I end up having a smoothie as an early lunch or post workout.  I try to drink water first thing in the morning and then a smoothie gets me through the next few hours feeling energized and fueled.  It tastes like dessert which I'm a big fan off, especially when that dessert is packed with nourishing goodness.

I started making smoothies close to 10 years ago and I used a $15 blender which got the job done.  I say that because you do not need an expensive blender to make a smoothie.  Also, if you happen to have a love for Starbucks frappuccinos (like myself), but not so much the cost of one, you're going to enjoy this recipe.

It's plant powered for your beautiful mind & body.  

Swap out the ingredients and make it how it works for you!  If you're new to essential oils, I encourage you to hop over here to learn the basics.  Peppermint essential oil supports happy digestion and as the blender is running I'll dab it on the back of my neck to energize my body.  This oil is also my BFF when it comes to migraine support.

Ok, go grab your blender!  Let me know what you think.

​Em :) 

Hi there!

How's your day?  I'll imagine that we're talking over coffee (or tea)… but lately I've been all about this chai latte.

Today I'm chatting about supplements and there is A LOT of information out there and even more supplements on the market.  My focus is going to be on why I supplement and what supplements I'm a proponent of.  I also have a corner on Bliss Out dedicated to supplement goodness and why I think they are key to superhero status.  I promise it will all make sense soon.

I believe in taking supplements because every day we face many hurdles to our health + wellness:

If we do not meet our daily nutrition requirements this can lead to problems, or make existing problems worse. 

That's the part I want you to focus on. 

Dealing with a chronic condition (hey, vestibular migraines) is a mountain of its own.  But if there is something lacking in my diet (which by the way can happen even if I eat "perfect") or I'm exposed to something in my environment that I'm unaware of, or a multitude of other possibilities in today's world, I wanted to make sure I am giving my body all the love and support I can.  I am not willing to chance it because there’s a very good chance that my needs are not being met simply by eating a healthy diet. 

Does a nutrient dense diet filled with nourishing whole foods help?  Absolutely!  I look at food as the first line of defense, always.   ​

So I supplement to promote overall wellness and address personal health issues.  I want to know that I am doing everything I can to nourish my body.  Because this is my body – the only one I got – and I deserve to feel better than just ok, I deserve to glow.  And my friend, so do you.

When I got hit with vestibular neuritis, I wasn’t supplementing consistently.  I started to do my own research (countless hours looking for answers) and as I took a look at my holistic approach, I felt there was a hole.  Enter: supplementation.

I’m going to share with you the supplements I take and tell you why, and then I ask that you take a look at your current wellness routine and determine whether it could use a boost.  This is about uncovering what is best for you and to do that, you have to consider how you’re nourishing your body now, and what shifts may be needed.  

And I hope that by opening this conversation, this space provides a hub of support for you.  Whether you're currently supplementing or not, I hope you're curious.  Don't just take it from me, I encourage you to do your own research.  If you're really interested, here's an excellent e-book on the supplements that I believe create the bliss.
​

​Lifelong Vitality Supplements (LLV)- don't they just sound happy?  I became a wellness mentor and aligned with doTERRA because I believe in the mission of the company: providing beautiful holistic support.  I've also been supplementing with LLV for over two years now and fought my way through a vestibular condition and beyond.  I look as supplements as beautiful support.  And I needed a whole lot of that.  Life is packed with twists and turns, and I want to be guarded and geared along the way.  I know supplements aren't the answer to everything, but I also know they are an incredible tool to level up wellness.  

I share all the details of Lifelong Vitality over here, but please do not hesitate to reach out with any questions.

I feel like I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't mention probiotics.  So much of our health resonates from the gut.  Improving gut health can make huge shifts in overall health and wellness.  

I think one of the most interesting things I learned on this topic was that anxiety and depression can stem from gut health (or lack thereof really).  That made me think, and think more.  And then really consider what I could do to support and cultivate a healthy gut.  I take a probiotic every day before bed (and so does my husband and kids (my boys take the kid version)).    

I do not think that doTERRA supplements are the only amazing supplements on the market, but I believe in them because of their quality, purity and wholefood based nourishment.  

I also have a obsession with my vegan guru, Alicia Silverstone.  After all, she did change my life almost 10 years ago.  She recently launched MyKind Organics and I'm so happy about it.  My boys love the gummies and sprays.  We all use the B-12 organic spray, and I interchange the women's supplement with Lifelong Vitality Pack.  I mention this brand because I adore Alicia's mission and I believe in these supplements.  They are pure plant power and organic.  I trust this brand for my boys.  Check it out for yourself.  (Note, that I order all my MyKind supplements from Thrive- that link will get you a discount!)

I haven’t figured you out completely.  Most days I feel pretty spectacular, but you still make an appearance.  Last week you showed up and really scared me.  I surprised myself with how quickly I recovered from your attack, but you rattled me to the core.  

It’s strange because I hate you, but you also changed my life in a beautiful way.  Battling a chronic invisible condition leaves its mark.  I’ve grown in ways that I’m so proud of and I have become ‘more me’ through the process.  You inspired me to help other people also dealing with you and figuring out life with a vestibular something.  I thank you for that.  The more of us that root for each other, advocate for one another and share our experiences, the more that will overcome you.  You’ll be a memory of what we rose above.  The mountain we climbed to see the magnificent view.  

I’m a Vestibular Warrior and you get some credit for that.  You’re a part of my story, but you’re not my whole story.  I like to think of you as my fresh beginning.  Really rocky start (thanks to you), but I’ll be the one journeying somewhere much more beautiful. 

From, 
a Vestibular Warrior

Hey hey!

I'm back for week two of the fuel my soul series.  Yeah!!  This completely gives the opportunity to reflect on the things that fueled my wellness, heart + soul this week (and I hope you too).  It's been a good week, with the interesting event of having a vestibular migraine attack- the first intense one in seven months.  It sort of feels like it didn't happen though because my body has lovingly bounced back very fast and I'm so grateful for that.  The problem with the intensity of attacks is that the mind does not forget so quickly because it is traumatic.  I've been extra kind to my mind + body this week, which I'll share below.  So, let's get to it.  Here are the five things that fueled my soul this week.​

I shared the details of my vestibular migraine attack the following day, but now a few days later, it's easier to really reflect on it.  I felt the symptoms hit in the early afternoon that day and by night time I was close to back to my 'normal' self.  What a whirlwind that filled that period of time though.  As I type this post, I feel fantastic, except for being a bit tired.  I've spent the last few days listening to how my body is feeling- really listening. 

I did a move + meditate workout today and for the 15 minute meditation part, I just sat and listened.  I listened to the thoughts that stood boldly in the forefront of my mind and how my body was feeling.  It's amazing what comes forward when I stop and listen.  Life is noisy and making light movement and meditation a priority in my life has been one of the greatest things I've done for myself.  

If you're life feels cluttered and your mind on overdrive, I encourage you to take a few minutes to sit still.  Feel the emotions and what your  body is saying to you.  Our bodies let us know what it needs, it's just a matter of clearing space to effectively listen in.

My natural toolkit has been huge support this week.  I'm constantly amazed that just a few years ago, I knew so little about oils, and now they play a large role in my wellness.  I've been doing some reading about taking my self-care routines up a notch.  I do think this latest migraine attack correlated with my cycle (as I'm sure many women can relate) and this is a topic I'm very interested in.  So I've been looking into using oils to support hormonal balance.  It's not just that I used oils during the migraine attack though, it's all the moments around then too.  This morning I took Lemongrass + Turmeric essential oil in a capsule and it made my heart so happy to have this support in my life.  Lemongrass is electrifying, regenerating and purifying, and turmeric is healing on a number of levels, so I'm excited to incorporate the two oils daily.  And that Wild Orange I'm holding is fantastic for diffusing in my home: uplifting, invigorated and renewing.  I'll take all those blissful vibes, thank you.

I had a call with a fellow Vestibular Warrior this week and it was such a happy thing for me.  I know there are many people dealing with a vestibular condition, but it's still the type of thing that feels very isolating.  I think we all can relate to that feeling on some level though.  She and I talked on FaceTime and there in front of me was another person battling vestibular migraines and pushing forward to flourish + thrive in this beautiful life.  We talked about our symptoms, what doctors had told us, and we laughed at how similar our experiences were.  I'm further along so I was able to provide hope + inspiration that it does improve and there are things we can do to feel empowered and elevate our wellness.  I told her my story and how I got started with essential oils and I'm so thankful for that opportunity.  

I believe in the power of the food I nourish my body with.  I look at food not only as sustenance, but a way to level up my wellness with every bite.  I love spending time in the kitchen because I love eating delicious food.  This weekend was filled with lots of banana blueberry muffins (Oh She Glows app!), black bean soup, noodle + broccoli dish, buffalo faux 'chicken' patties (with avocado + vegenaise, sooo good!) + kale chips, and tonight I'm planning a curry stew with naan bread.  A plant-based diet is not only incredible fuel for the mind + body, but super fuel for the soul as well.  

If you want to shift your energy, start by looking at what you're eating.  

I worked on the Bliss Out Guide more this week.  I set a goal for myself to finish it this month and I plan to stick to it.  I put on my headphones, play music that sings to my soul, and start typing away.  Of course, I sometimes spend 1/2 hour looking for the perfect photo and then my boys are up from nap, but at least I found that damn good picture ;)  I really can't wait to release it because it will be the heart of this space.  More on that soon!

Well, that just about sums it up.  I still need to grocery shop, but I'm waiting to see if my four-year-old decides to fight his nap, and wants to join me.  As much as I treasure nap times, I also love having his company when I shop.  

Hope you have a great rest of your weekend!

Heyyy!

I'm currently in the process of writing the Bliss Out Guide, and I want to share some of it through blog posts because it feels like the right way to delivery all that's on my heart.  I'm also finding writing again to feel so damn good.  I've missed it and I'm completely reminded why I used to blog.

Right now I'm in the middle of the chapter on mindset + feelings, so it should be no surprise that I'm letting emotion flow and reflecting on my desired feelings.  Because that's what it's all about for me.  Living in the a way that's true to how I want to feel.  

I start the chapter with what I think is one of the most important questions we could ever ask ourselves: 

If you had asked me that question 10 years ago, I would have told you that I wasn’t sure on any specifics, but I just hoped I was happy.  Honestly, if you asked me that question 20 years ago, I probably would have told you the same thing.  Happiness has always been my focus and driving force.  I’ve never truly felt that happiness came from material items.  Yes, I get excited about a new outfit, fresh makeup, books… but that deep routed happiness that sits in my heart and emanates from my soul, that certainly can’t be bought.  It has to be uncovered (and rediscovered) and built from within, and in my experience, involves conquering some bumpy roads along the way. 

If you asked me today what I want out of this life, I’d still tell you that I just want to be happy, but I would also boldly state that I want my health.  I used to take my health for granted.  Sometimes it takes the heartbreaking lesson of losing something (or feeling like it's lost), to know how much it means to you.  Also, it points out just how much everything else is dependent upon what feels lost.  It’s a painful lesson that leaves its mark. 

In the fall of 2016, I was hit with a vestibular condition (vestibular neuritis + vestibular migraines), and all it did was take.

It took away the security of living in my own body. 

It took away my sense of feeling grounded to the world I was living in. 

And it took away some happiness. 

However, it also presented me with a few surprising gifts. 

It offered me a shiny new perspective on my life. 

It gave me the opportunity to reevaluate how I would approach my health + wellbeing for the rest of my life.

And it sharpened my view of how precious this life is and how the moments were to be cherished.

I will continue to strive to uncover all that brings me happiness in my soul, and along the way, I will take a holistic approach to my health.  I will put my self-care routine as a top priority and open my heart, sharing + connecting with others doing the same thing.

From there, it's just the beauty of the journey.  Let's see where it takes us, but keep our driving force close, so that when we hit an unexpected turn, we'll still have our guiding light.

xoxo,
​Em

{If you're new around this space, here's a bit more about me}

Hi! 

Today I'm talking about what self-care means to me.  And this is something that has evolved, and will continue to, but it’s not a “maybe” if I get time, it’s a priority, because my wellness is so damn important (and yours is too by the way)!

If I care BIG about my wellbeing, then it’s reflected in every area of my life: motherhood, marriage, my work, the energy I put out there, how I approach my vestibular condition + how I approach (and can emotionally + physically take on) every twist and turn in my life.

So in no particular order, here’s my world of self-care:
​
-eating a plant-based diet to nourish my body
-taking supplements to fill the gaps (and gain superhero status)
-climbing into bed and watching Netflix to just chill out
-starting my day with Balance essential oil blend on my feet bottoms to ground me and ease anxious and nervous feelings
-laughing with my husband
​-cuddling with my two-year-old and talking about our favorite superheroes (mine: Ironman, his: Hulk)
-learning from my 4-year old
-going to the chiro
-constantly advocating for myself because vestibular migraine is a label but I want to get to the of it
-move + meditate sessions
-wearing clothes that I feel good in
-talking about all life things with my vegan bestie (hey Char!)
-listening to music that makes me feel lots of emotion + embracing it
-blogging
-dreaming
-relentless goal setting
-connecting with other vestibular warriors
-sharing about my holistic support system (oils...yeah!!)
-knowing when I need to rest
-accepting the ups and downs of life because they make ME
-therapy
-DIY dry shampoo (on the blog)
-recognizing my faults and my attributes
​-drinking water (need to more)
-smiling
-wearing Juice Beauty makeup because it makes my skin happy
-listening the podcasts that set my soul on fire: One Part Podcast and Hol:Fit talks lately!
-gratitude for all the little things
-a big cup of Four Sigmatic mushroom coffee because this mama did not get enough sleep last night.  
That’s a glimpse!  Think on what self-care means to you.

I'd love to hear from you! 

for more about me and the Bliss Out Movement, visit here.

Hi there,

It's been seven beautiful months since I've had an intense vestibular migraine attack.  As I type this, I'm so thankful that I can even make that statement and the way my body has recovered.  Of course, I'm still processing it all.

Yesterday had really (really) trying moments.  It also had beyond beautiful moments. 

In the early afternoon, I felt it start.

My anxiety spiked - whole body raging anxiety that didn't feel mental at all, but more a physical reaction.  I then felt myself start to disconnect from my body.  I suddenly was there yet feeling entirely outside my body as if we weren't the same at all.  I fought back as I always do, but I knew when it was time to just listen.  I got myself home safely.  Threw up at a stop light  and when I got home stumbled inside trying to pay attention to where my feet were stepping. 

I sobbed into my husband’s loving arms that I was having a vestibular migraine attack.  My eyes didn’t want to focus and I felt that dizzy awfulness that’s pure torture.  Sobbing was the release I needed and then I worked to compose myself, climbing under the covers, winter coat and boots still on.  Two years with a vestibular condition and I still have really hard moments. 

I massaged Basil and Peppermint essential oil on my stomach and on my temples many times over the next hour.  Slowly, I felt myself start to find ground, the nausea starting to relent. 

I was rattled to the core, but I was ok.

As I was laying on my side not daring to make a move, all I could think about was all the other vestibular warriors out there.  What once felt so isolating, is something I know so many battle.  We are not alone and I thought about how many other people were using all their energy in that moment to fight an invisible condition.  My heart goes out to them and I’m in awe of their strength.

And this little man of mine pictured above, who has been my superhero through it all (he was just 3 months old when it hit), was just what my soul needed.  I know it sounds silly, but he just gets it.  He climbed into bed with me and rested on me and all was right in the world. 

Go hug the people who fill you with love and overflowing gratitude that they’re in your universe, supporting you along this journey with a vestibular something.

xoxo,
​Em

{for my full story with a vestibular condition, visit here}

Hey hey!

I'm back and it's the shiny new beginning of a weekly series.  I'd say I'll commit to posting every Sunday, but let's be real:  I've got preschoolers and I rely on their nap time to create + inspire in this happy space, so we'll just take each week as it comes.  That being said, if it's not Sunday, be on the lookout each Monday for a new post.

I'm really excited about this because each week I will be sharing a few things that fueled my soul from that week.  It will be little things that brought me good vibes or something that inspired me.  Because, it truly is all about soaking in the goodness from all the little things in this life.  Good hair days, laughter with my boys, hot showers, move + meditate sessions, cozy lattes, learning new things, widening my perspective, a new song that sings to my soul, connections with people... you get what I'm saying.  Finding gratitude in the moments is what lights me up.  It's my drive to create this empowered movement to elevate wellness and the reason I will continue to uncover all my inspiration.

In the early years of Love A Latte I used to just write about whatever was on my heart and I miss that.  So these posts will fill that void as well.  I hope it inspires you to think about the things from your week that fueled your soul, and please share, because the more inspiration we got flying, the better.

Let's get started in no particular order, ok?  I'll try to link everything so you can explore what resonates with you.

I took a longgg break from coffee.  With all the vestibular stuff the last few years, I didn't dare take a chance with coffee.  I spent so much time feeling disconnected from my body and to be honest I just was sort of scared to have coffee.  That statement may not make sense to you, but when you go through a health thing, it makes you question everything.  I wasn't drinking coffee when I got hit with the vestibular condition, so I just didn't think it was time to start.

So why am I bringing it back now?  Well, for starters I trust this brand and I heard the founder talk on a podcast.  This is more than just coffee- this is coffee + superfoods and that makes my heart happy.  I honestly wasn't sure how my body would react to it but each morning as I started my work day I drank this coffee with almond milk mixed in and my soul just sighed happily.  Ok, yeah now I'm getting a little dramatic, but if you're a coffee lover I'm sure you get that there's an emotional connection there.  I mean I did name my first blog Love A Latte.  I'm already excited to start my day tomorrow with this.  

One Part Podcast is seriously my favorite.  The host, Jessica Murnane is just awesome and she has the most inspiring guests.  It honestly doesn't even the matter the topic of the conversation, I learn every episode and expand my perspective.  On her season finale, she had Dr. Jolene Brighten who discussed the Pill + Post Birth Control Syndrome.  Every woman should listen to this episode.  It was eye opening and I wish my 20 year old self had been informed.  So go listen + share!

If you follow me on Instagram, you've probably noticed I like cookies.  It's no secret.  Know what I really like though?  Incredible vegan/gluten-free cookies that taste like heaven and leave me simultaneously feeling happy I ate a cookie.  I truly believe in quality ingredients (plant-based always in my case).  If I've got coconut sugar in the cupboard and Bob's Red Mill GF flour, you better believe cookies are happening.  You can't go wrong with any Minimalist Baker recipe, so go try one now (or at least later this week).

Ohhh I'm so happy to share this with you!  It's all about elevating our wellness and to do that I think it takes making small shifts that make a big difference when it comes to nourishing our mind + body wellness.  I've broken it down into 4 paths so you can start where it feels right for you.  Maybe that means making some diet tweaks, getting a natural toolkit of oils (pure plant power), taking on superhero status with supplements, or starting a blissful wellness business of your own. 

There's a lot packed in and I would just love it if you checked it out.  Let me know what you think and if you have questions.  This truly needs to be a post of its own, but I'm sure you sense my passion for leveling up how we approach our health. 

​Let's make waves when it comes to our wellbeing, because it's one thing to just live, but it's another to flourish + thrive.  

If you're new, I encourage you to watch this video where I talk about my experience with a vestibular condition.  That way you get to know me a bit better.  Connecting with others living with a vestibular condition is therapy for my soul, because we get a part of each other.  There are just some things that only another Vestibular Warrior can understand, because so much of it is unspoken understandings. 

Vestibular conditions are invisible on the outside, but completely life altering.  I count my blessing every day for the progress I've made because these days I feel pretty damn incredible.  I say that because I'm bursting with gratitude and I know how precious it is to walk and feel grounded rather than as if I'm standing on a moving dock.  I know how beyond gorgeous it is to look at the world and truly see it as it is, nothing slightly off and dancing in the distance. 

I've been on the other side and there's no forgetting the relentless awful moments.  Talking to others that are in the throes or have been through an experience similar to mine is a gift from the universe.  Bliss Out was inspired by my journey with a vestibular disorder and sharing my experience and everything that's helped me along the way has just opened up my soul.  

Well, that's a wrap, friends!  

How was your week?

Hey hey!

How are you? 

I'm back to talk about a topic that I think needs to be screamed from the mountain tops:  creating your reality.  Too dramatic?  Ok, but the thing is I feel like I was sucked deep into a big life thing (in my case a vestibular disorder) and then found the dim light that was shining at the other end of the tunnel and followed it for a long (long) while, through twists and turns, just trying to fight my way out, and eventually breaking through.  During the period of reflecting on that journey, all I could think about was getting super intentional with the life I craved.  

I think that when you're dealing with a chronic health thing, or a big life event, or anything that sucks up all your energy, it's easy to lose sight of the big picture.  Let's be honest, when I was in the middle of an intense vestibular migraine attack, feeling detached from the world, grasping for reality, I wasn't contemplating my life goals.  I was just plotting getting through the rest of the day.​

It got to the point where I just had to stop worrying about what I could not control.  I shifted all of my energy to what I could create.

Focusing on what I could shift in my world changed everything. 

It shifted my mindset of my vestibular condition and everything I was capable of.  

​Let me break it down:

Shift heartbreaking vestibular disorder to empowering life event.

Shift the thought of how much time I'd lost to all the time I'd gain in the future having gone through this battle and overflowing with gratitude for the present moment.

Shift feeling destroyed and ungrounded to taking back my wellness one day at a time.

Passion is energy and I have become incredibly passionate about advocating for and inspiring others (myself included) going through a chronic health thing, because I do not think anyone gets through this human experience unscathed.  I have been broken, so I was going to do more than just put together the pieces and find myself, I was going to create myself.

Lofty concept, but my point is that we can create our reality.  Yes, it may take making changes in our lives and getting uncomfortable and feeling all the emotions that come with change, but that's the beauty of it.  You create your life from the inside out.  

I hope you're still with me, because this is where I tell you why I created Bliss Out, why I spent countless hours writing Vestibular Warrior, and why I will continue to pour my heart into this space.

I'm designing what I want to see in the world.  A hub to elevate our wellness.  A starting point for soul work.  A place to get vulnerable, grow, and create routines to level up our wellbeing and how we navigate this life.

Thank you for stopping by this little space in the universe.

xoxo,
Em  

{for my full story with a vestibular condition + guide to thrive, visit here}

I’ll stop rambling and start sharing my favorites when it comes to movement, mediation and just feeling good.

Here they are:

Kait Hurley: Move + Meditate
These workouts are amazing.  My FAVORITE right now.  Think yoga, but lots of movement, and happy vibes, and awesome music.  Then at the end a meditation and you feel like you’ve just conquered the world.  Workouts are short and long, so you choose what works for you.  I love a workout at the end of the day because I go to bed feeling so good.  Again, there’s a free trial period so give it a try and see what you think!

oneOeight
Yoga, meditation, and wellness!  I rely on this platform for all my yoga classes.  From beginner to advanced, so many videos and teachers so you can find who you jive with.  Note, there’s a free 10-day trial so you can see if you like it.

Lauren Roxburgh: Taller Slimmer Younger
This made me fall in love with the foam roller.  I heard Lauren on a Podcast and was super intrigued.  I bought her 10-week program (going at my own pace) and the foam roller workouts are so therapeutic.  My muscles relax and so does my mind.  I know I’m stronger from them too.  She also has individual videos you can get.  Foam rolling is super empowering.

These platforms are incredible and I’m sharing because they continue to make a difference in my world.

I definitely have gone through times in my life when I was just into running, but right now I’m really into more gentle yet super strengthening and challenging exercises for my mind and body.  My body is also thanking me hugely for it.  

Feel free to ask me any questions!  Go put on a podcast and level up your wellness.

xoxo,
Em

{for my full story with a vestibular condition + guide to thrive, visit here}

October 31, 2016 was the day that everything changed.  It has midday that I was hit with a vestibular disorder, but wouldn't understand what that even meant for many months later.

In short, it flipped my world upside down.  I went from feeling in control to losing my sense of self in the world, quite literally.  Feeling off kilter, like I was living on a moving dock, looking at my life from the outside, anxiety coursing through my system, were a few of the symptoms that consumed my days.  No breaks- my symptoms were every second of every day.  I had no warning that this disorder would hit and certainly wasn’t prepared for it. 

I had experienced a cold/ear infection the week prior, but didn’t think anything of it.  I expected my body to heal and I would be just fine.  I never could have predicted what happened next.  I was sitting at my computer at work and everything just shifted in an instant.  I felt sideways, off kilter, completely ungrounded and I couldn’t focus on the words on my computer screen.  I stumbled across the office to find my friend and tell her what was happening. 

But what was happening? 

I felt so off kilter, disconnected and I had no sense of myself.  That night as I went trick-or-treating with my boys (because I was determined to be a part of it), I was feeling awful with anxiety coursing my system, disconnected and scared, but I had it in my head that I would sleep this off.  It honestly did not cross my mind that this was anything more than cold symptoms.  Being so naïve was a blessing in a weird way because had I know the battle ahead, I’m not sure how I would have understood it. 

There are no easy words to describe the onset of a vestibular disorder (in my case vestibular neuritis which triggered vestibular migraines, which I’d find out over a year down the road).  I would say things like, “imagine you’re standing on a moving dock and you’re frightened and can’t get a grip on the anxiety”.  The thing is I never would have understood it, until I was sinking deep in it.

And I felt that way every second from that moment on, for months... 

There is so much emotion wrapped into the early moments because it’s all so terrifying, confusing and heartbreaking.  I can’t pinpoint the exact moment, but in those early months I accepted that this wasn’t going away overnight.  I pleaded with the universe that I’d just wake up and it would be gone, but I was quickly learned that it just wasn’t the case for me.

This is when my ‘fight’ mechanism kicked in.   This just couldn’t take me down.   There was no way I would allow it to.   So I cried a lot (and then sobbed harder) and then I picked myself up and took action.

I held tight onto potential for improvement + gratitude for all the good in my life.

I ate a plant-based diet to fuel, support + help my body heal every single day.

I used pure essential oils to support my entire being and cope with the many all-consuming symptoms, both physical and emotional. 

I worked with a holistic doctor and neurologist (eventually) and around two-years in, with persistence and hope, I started to truly feel like myself again. 

I entered into my version of 'recovery'.

All I had longed for throughout the battle with this ‘vestibular stuff’ was to feel like myself.  I knew I was still there deep within, but my physical wellbeing had been so hurt (it felt destroyed) and my heart wounded, and it would take a fight to come through.  I uncovered my relentless drive to push forward, my heart to help others and inspire a perspective of gratitude, and my passion to discover how this experience would shape my life.​

I went into survival mode for weeks, and then months.  I still have those moments.  If someone had told me the day it hit that I would still be dealing with vestibular symptoms years later, I would have told them, ‘‘no way, I can’t”. 

But here I am doing just that and I’m leading a happy life. 

Not without its challenges, but I’m grateful for it all at this point.  It’s been a journey of really getting to know myself.  It’s been finding happiness in dark moments because it certainly exists.  I’ve seen many doctors, explored both holistic and western medicine approaches and learned a lot.  And I’m still learning, constantly.  I believe that I had vestibular neuritis, which trigged vestibular migraines.  I also believe that I’m a vestibular warrior. (And by the way, if you are dealing with a vestibular condition, I know that you are a vestibular warrior too).

Recovery for me means that most days I feel pretty great. 

I’m not entirely without symptoms, but I am at peace with this condition and I am empowered and armed to support myself along the way.  I know that this is not the ‘end’ and I will continue to expand my knowledge to fully understand the roots of this vestibular disorder. 

I’m sharing my experiences because I am  overflowing with gratitude from the progress I’ve made and I know there are others that can benefit from hearing the story of a fellow vestibular warrior.

I would love to hear your story, because we all have one.  Whether it's a vestibular condition or something else, we all can inspire one another and flourish.

This morning I got out of bed walked down the hallway and immediately felt like I was going to faint.  It's a symptoms of vestibular migraines and I'm no stranger to it, but it always feels just as awful.  I immediately sat on a chair in my family room and observed my surroundings: I could see and nothing was off kilter. Ok, I certainly have that going for me.  I'm still grounded I just felt a wash of it pass through me...I talked to myself (I’m my mind) and say that I was ok and I will be continue to be ok.

I then grabbed a banana, glass of water and my Peppermint and Basil essential oil. I dabbed the Peppermint under my nose and massaged on my temples to bring me into the moment and wake me up. I put the Basil essential oil on the back of my neck, my temples and my stomach- basil is fantastic for migraines- I think of it as ‘unwinding’. ✨
💛
I share this because it brings me to tears thinking how much those simple actions helped me this morning. This is why I share with others. Because in moments of feeling so completely powerless, I know I am most certainly not.

I know I have a support system to help me emotionally and physically and that is what it's all about. It’s about moments in darkness that I EMPOWERED and beyond GRATEFUL for the holistic support that I have.