Hi there!

I found that when I was journeying along with my vestibular something (vestibular neuritis + vestibular migraines), it was one thing to slap a label on it, and a completely other thing to truly talk about how it felt. It was easy for a doctor to tell me I was experiencing dizziness, but that wasn't a fair description of it. I felt like I was floating 24/7 and that my world was off-kilter for months and months. Dizziness hardly summed up the complexity of how it felt.

Below I share several symptoms of vestibular migraines, but of course there are others. Our experiences may not be identical, but often there is great resemblance. I hope that my honest account provides a light for others journeying with vestibular migraines, trying to make sense of their symptoms.

Something I want to note is that my symptoms sort of evolved over time. The first year my symptoms were 24/7 and it was hard to make sense of the vestibular neuritis symptoms vs. vestibular migraine attacks. However, after the first year I had a better sense of the ups and downs, and attacks (or regressions as I called them) became much more clear. The symptoms were never identical from one attack to the next. For example, I never got extremely nauseous in the beginning; however, my last attack in July (which passed within hours, so grateful for that!), nausea/vomiting was a part of that episode. Lovely, I know. I point this out just to showcase that symptoms were not always consistent. What I discuss below is an array of the symptoms that I experienced over the course of eighteen months.

I discuss these symptoms from VEDA's website.  The full article can be read here. 

DISSOCIATIVE SYMPTOMS- this was my biggest symptom and the worst; it included derealization (disconnected from my environment) and depersonalization (disconnected from my body)

ANXIETY/PANIC- this spike was often my telltale sign of what was to follow

LIGHTHEADEDNESS- feeling like I might faint (this is a symptoms I experienced throughout my twenties along with derealization)

PHOTOPHOBIA- sensitivity to light or intolerance of light

VERTIGO- feeling like my world was spinning even though I was still

VISUAL ISSUES / DIMINISHED EYE FOCUS- difficulty focusing my eyes and my world appearing skewed (although I could completely see)

SPACIAL DISORIENTATION- suddenly needing to make sense of where I was; feeling unaware of my body's position

NAUSEA- this symptom made an appearance at times making me lose my appetite (and on a few occasions get sick)
​
NECK PAIN- this would often happen before other symptoms showed up; turning my neck would become difficult and painful to the touch

I talk all about what derealization/depersonalization felt like in the below video.  It was as if I was living behind a window (read this blog post).  It was my worst symptom and the one that I felt kept me hostage to my vestibular condition.  

The anxiety that came with my vestibular condition was a beast that could not be ignored.  In Uncovering Bliss, I write: "​The anxiety that came with my vestibular condition could, and often did, bring me to my knees. Crumbling on my bedroom floor because it felt so heavy. I’d succumb to a pile on the ground. It was a physical anxiety that felt like it was swimming in my veins. It was animal and rarely felt connected to my mental state. The initial event had set it free in my system. Anxiety isn’t even the correct word for it... It was much more a fight-or-flight feeling that was so intense it felt like a tight sweater glued to my body that I couldn’t rip off."

Doctors would easily brush the condition of as simply anxiety, but I'd push back.  No way this was just anxiety- there was much more to it.

You know that feeling of being close to passing out?  That's exactly how this symptom felt.  Oddly I did faint a few times in my twenties and looking back I think I was experiencing a silent migraine, but at the time I couldn't make sense of it.  This symptom is certainly disconcerting 

I think I'll forever hate the lights in big box stores.  I remember the first time I went to Target after it all hit and it felt near impossible to move about the store.  As if the lights were trying to hurt me.  Their brightness was overwhelming and my body was screaming "stop!!!".  

I spent a long while working with the lights off in my office and now I wear blue light blocking glasses (I love these ones) whenever I'm under florescent lights.  The glasses make it so my eyes can relax a bit...and they're cute, so that helps (kidding).  

Vertigo is feeling off balanced, like you're spinning or your world is spinning.  As I mentioned, the first year my symptoms were constant, so nothing felt spontaneous.  It was a blur of dizzy awfulness.  However, as I was climbing to the 18-month mark and I was really improving, I very much could feel the ups and downs that came with episodes.  I have a memory of various attacks when vertigo hit out-of-the-blue.  In one attack which I detail in Uncovering Bliss, I climbed into my bed with my winter coat and boats still on as my world spun.  I wished closing my eyes made it all go away, but unfortunately it did not.  The spinning was intense and anyone who has dealt with it knows that it's miserable.   

After the initial event of vestibular neuritis hitting, my eyes went sideways.  That makes no sense to read, but it's absolutely how it felt.  In the first few days I was whipping my head back and forth as if to shake it off.  My eyes stopping focusing like they used to.  Focusing my eyes, something that I never thought about previously became something I had to give a concerted effort to make happen.  Also, my world felt skewed and this was something that improved over time.  This goes along with the whole viewing my life through a window thing.  The time came when I started to see a crack in the window and it was miraculous.  Then the window would shut and I'd be back behind it in my skewed world.  I'm sure if you've deal with a vestibular something you understand what I'm saying.

An example of this is me being somewhere that's familiar and suddenly feeling like I had to gauge my surroundings to better understand where I was.  As if things had moved and I wasn't exactly sure where I stood.  I remember turning around in a circle trying to gather my surroundings.  It's a bizarre feeling.

This one is pretty self explanatory.  Nausea and vomiting are miserable for anyone to experience, but add the other vestibular symptoms into the mix and it became the least of my worries at times.  I only actually got sick a few times, but the nausea certainly made a presence.  In the early days with the vestibular stuff it impacted my appetite.  I was drinking a lot of smoothies to fuel my body.

My neck would get stiff and often it would become difficult and painful to turn my head.  Sometimes this symptom would hit before the others as a warning of what was to come.  On many occasions you could find me lying on my foam roller, trying to get some mobility back.  It would often take days to get better.

Hi hi!

This is a fun post to write.  I'm basically just telling you a few of the wonderful things that make a difference in my life with vestibular migraines.  Three years ago my symptoms were 24/7 and now I rarely deal with symptoms, which I'm beyond grateful for.  It's been a journey!  My mission these days is to do everything I can to elevate my wellness and feel my best.  It's about being proactive with my health rather than reactive.  That's what these gifts are all about.  Feeling empowered when it comes to wellness is the heart + soul of Bliss Out.

I hope you enjoy these gifts and I'd love to hear if you gift any of this items to yourself (that's a beautiful self-love gift!) or if you ask a loved one to purchase a gift for you.  Let's keep spreading the goodness!

This oils trio is first on my list because I believe giving the gift of wellness support is a happy one!  I started using this trio back in November when it was released and I'm so excited about it for Vestibular Warriors.  It is beautiful all-around mind & body support.  Not only is this a gift of holistic support, it's also a happy introduction into the world of certified pure therapeutic grade oils.  I embraced the oils life back in the fall of 2016 when I was sinking deep in the vestibular stuff.  It was such a positive outlet for me, and I love sharing this gift with others.  

I've linked each of the gifts below.  My mission is to create a little happiness with these gifts.  Here's the scene:

You're in a cozy chair with your Rasa on the side table in your mug keeping it hot, and a good book in your hands.  I'd love if it were my new book because it's a gift for all vestibular warriors.  It's a piece of love and light.  You've got your blue light blocking glasses on and the Adaptiv oil blend on your wrists [all things calming + combats anxiety].  You've got oils diffusing creating your happy environment and cleansing the air around you.  Lastly, you've got something delicious cooking (from the Oh She Glows cookbook) that will fuel your body in a blissful way.

How does that scene sound?  

Thank you for the love and support, and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!

-Em

OTHER RESOURCES:

Get Em's book: Uncovering Bliss: A Journey with a Vestibular Condition & Beyond
​Vestibular Warrior Wellness Hub + Resources
YouTube Videos [Vestibular Warrior]
Oils Routine for Vestibular Warriors
​Em's Routine When Symptoms Heighten
​Migraine Vegan Diet
Bliss Out Vibes Podcast for Vestibular Warriors
​Contact Em

Hi there.  I'm assuming because you're reading this post that you're very likely journeying with a vestibular condition, and therefore you understand parts of me immediately... because, well, you just get what it's like.

On October 31, 2016, my vestibular something hit.  I thought it was a cold virus that would pass.  I thought I'd sleep it off.  Twenty-four hours later my symptoms had only intensified to the point that walking felt near impossible and the deep rooted fear was coursing my system like fire.  After going to multiple doctor appointments and receiving no concrete answers, guess what my next step was to find answers...

You got it.  I started Googling my symptoms.  I found a lot of really helpful information [especially on VEDA], but I also wanted to hear from someone in my shoes.  I wanted to talk to someone who had been in the darkness and tell me they had made it through.  I wanted to have a heart-to-heart, so I could find some relief in my fear.

In time I found that support groups existed on Facebook for people with a vestibular something and it meant the world to me (I now run Vestibular Warrior).  I also couldn't believe that there were so many other people in the darkness that I was navigating.  I had thought that I was alone...

​I posted the below in a support group back in July 2017 searching for what my soul needed to hear... and I connected with incredible Vestibular Warriors who took the time to share their stories and help me piece together mine.  I was lost.  I had so many questions...

Recently, someone told me that they were in awe of how "together" I was about my vestibular migraine stuff.  I laughed and could have hugged that person. 

I had to unravel to rebuilt the pieces of myself.  I went the better part of year feeling like I was floating away...a solid 18 months living behind my window [derealization/dissociative symptoms] and longer with the unease and fight-or-flight mode that my vestibular something instilled.

The experience with vestibular neuritis + vestibular migraines took away every comfort in my inner being.  If you're living with a vestibular something, I know you understand.  I looked in the mirror at a woman I didn't recognize and I trudged through life in a body that I desperately wanted to feel connected to.

Around two years in I was finding myself in a grounded body.  I felt like I had come back to life.  The experience had been earthshaking and I knew I couldn't be silent about it.  I knew from being in the darkness that there were so many others needing to find their light.  I knew that there were so many looking to be understood.

And so I started writing.

​It started with creating Bliss Out, this wellness space, in December 2018, and sharing more about my experience in blog posts.  

My next step was compiling the holistic support that had been a huge part of my healing in the Vestibular Warrior Wellness Hub.

Then I started talking about my experience on YouTube (Vestibular Warrior channel).  

But I had more to say and my heart and soul felt like it was still processing the experience.  So earlier this year, I started writing my book and just let the words flow...I'd write and then put it away for weeks, and then bring it back when I felt ready.

Ultimately, I wanted to create what I so badly needed when I was in the throes of vestibular symptom hell, relentlessly trudging.  I wanted to share my feelings and what the symptoms felt like.  I wanted to showcase the corners of my mind and the thoughts that danced in my head.  I wanted to show a journey through the dark and finding the light.

So my mission with Uncovering Bliss is to expose the mind and body experience and tell my story because if someone out there is trudging along needing a friend on the trail, they can turn to my book.  Or maybe my book can be a tool to give to friends/family so they have a better idea what it feels like for their loved one. 

I was at a loss for words when I was in the messy middle.  The words that flow so easily for me now just didn't exist in the chaotic storm.  It was beautifully therapeutic to write my book and so it's a gift to myself as well.  A way to release what's been on my heart and soul and hopefully help others do the same.

​Thank you for your support and kindness.  It means so much to me.

Hi out there!

I'm back, and with pink hair.  I finally dyed it the color I wanted when I was 16.  Only took me close to 17 years.  

We just put up our Christmas tree and I'm sitting on the couch beneath the lights.  It was just around this time last year when I created Bliss Out... I've got David Gray "This Year's Love" playing in my headphones.  The first time I heard the song was while watching Dawson's Creek close to 15 years ago.  I used to only buy soundracks.  If I liked a movie or a show, I'd go search out the soundtrack.  Don't worry, I've evolved...a bit.  I've compiled a list of many of my favorite songs (right now) on Spotify (search Bliss Out by Emily Englert).  

Anyways- I swear I didn't pop in to just ramble.  For starters, I'm really here with a very happy update. 

I'm here to announce the release of my book. YAYYYY!!!  It's called Uncovering Bliss: A Journey with a Vestibular Condition and Beyond.  I started writing it close to a year ago and then put it down for a while during the move to Seattle.  In the last few months I jumped back in with my heart and soul finishing it up.  I was in a beautiful place to reflect on the last three+ years and what that chapter of my life means to me.  My mission is to bring a voice to the mind & body experience of a vestibular condition and expose the thoughts and feelings that decorated my journey.  It was so difficult to explain what it felt like in the moment and it's only in retrospect that it's been much easier.  If someone is in the beginning or messy middle with a vestibular something, I want them to have a friend on the trail.  

It's available in e-book and softcover format, and I so appreciate your inspiration and support.  

And now let's talk about month two of weaning off my migraine-preventive medicine.  This is a topic I touch on in my book.  I think it's important to expose the story and the why behind my decision to try a migraine medication.  It's such a personal journey, but I know it's one so many of us travel.  If you're new, I encourage you to read my first post and on month one, and then come back here.

Well, it has been an uneventful month as far as decreasing my medication dosage.  Boy am I grateful for that!  I'm taking it slow and I'm not quite sure how long the process will take, but my guess is the better part of a year.  My mission is to take it slowww and steady.  To let my body acclimate with each shift and provide beautiful holistic support every step of the way.

I've been keeping up with the routine I started from the beginning:

I was so tempted to have coffee over the Thanksgiving holiday.  I was feeling so good and really thought about it.  But then I remember the VM attack I had post downing of a cold brew coffee in July and I convinced myself that it was not worth the dreamy cup of joe.  I proceeded to order myself Rasa on Black Friday because there was a happy deal and oh how I love the cacao flavor.

I've honestly been feeling really awesome this month.  I had a few nights of head pain, but nothing oils, chugging water, some heat and sleep didn't kick.  As we jump into December, I plan to dive more into move + meditate workouts each morning.  I mean I have no excuse... the Christmas tree lights are glowing and I couldn't ask for a better personal yoga studio by the tree ;)

How are you doing?

I'd love to hear from you!

Before I broke through the vestibular migraine hold, I felt like I was living behind and viewing my life through a window.  This feeling was every moment of every day.  My body wasn’t allowing me to fully comprehend my surroundings.  I could see but it always felt like I was looking through a window, and sometimes not a very clean one.  In the beginning it was terrifying.  It’s every moment and it’s a thick glassy window. 

I was banging on the window screaming out to the rest of the world and everyone was looking as if to say, “We see you.  You look perfectly fine.” 

Then I’d yell back, “What’s with the window?!”

“What window are you talking about?”, the world responded.

I’d feel a pang in my heart as it started to sink in.  Just because the window was very real for me, in no way meant that the rest of the world could see it.  If you have journeyed with a vestibular something, there’s a good chance you know exactly what I’m saying.

[Note: VeDA states on its website: “…a large portion of people with migraine often have no accompanying pain, their predominant symptom instead being vertigo (a spinning sensation) or dizziness/ disequilibrium (balance loss), mental confusion, disorientation, dysarthria, visual distortion or altered visual clarity, or extremity paresis. This presentation may result in a visit to the emergency room and extensive laboratory, imaging, and other diagnostic evaluations—often with normal results, which lead to increased confusion and anxiety on the part of the patient.”] 

​My understanding of vestibular migraines from the many Vestibular Warriors that I connected with was that I was dealing with a nervous system problem.  My eyes fill with tears as I type those symptoms because each one makes my heart hurt.  Flashes of memories dance in my head.  The dizziness lasted well over a year.  The rocking boat feeling lasted a solid nine months.  The feeling of unease was a part of me for far too long.  My symptoms involved dissociative symptoms, which include derealization (feeling disconnected from your environment) and depersonalization (feeling disconnected from your body), repeated dizziness (or vertigo), nausea and vomiting, balance problems, lightheadedness, photophobia (sensitivity to light), visual issues and feeling unsteady.

Sometimes the window that I looked through would be super clean and I would almost think it wasn’t there but then out of nowhere the smudge would return and my heart would sink.  I just had that thing cleaned, what happened!?  This window stuff sounds sort of trippy, right?  Yeah, that’s my vestibular stuff for you, only there’s no party and no one is on the dance floor, and it’s more like a bad dream that doesn’t quit.

I learned to live from behind this figurative window.  No one else could see it, so it was just a matter of building up my confidence so that I could do everything I once did but this time from behind my window.  In time, I did just that.  Everything I learned to do from behind my window only empowered me on my journey of healing.  I went to work, was a nurturing and caring mother to two little boys, I cooked meals, just simply showed up, found the power in meditation, and eventually found myself running the trails again and finding everything I felt I’d lost- all from behind my window.

I created a beautiful life behind my window and developed a mindset that I could do anything even with my window.  That’s when something magical happened.

Around fifteen months in with symptoms all day, every day to varying degrees, I started to notice that my window was slightly open.  The first time I noticed it, what I felt was pure bliss.  I hadn’t seen life without my window in what felt like an eternity, and I had started to forget what life looked like without it.  I didn’t know whether to sob happy tears or scream, or tell everyone in a one-mile radius, so I just danced in the kitchen (more on that in Uncovering Bliss).

In the beginning the window didn’t stay open completely.  It would open, and stormy days would blow it a bit closed.  Eventually, my toolkit kept it open.

Every day I stop to look at the world longer than I ever did before, because with vestibular stuff there’s a before and after, and my aftermath started out a thick smudgy window with lots of rainy days.  Over time, with persistence, putting self-care first, nourishing my body, refusing to look backwards and finding a doctor who understood, I stepped through.  I thank the universe for giving me the support to shatter my window.  These days I rarely have moments behind it.  It happens here and there, and it again ignites a new sense of gratitude when I find my balance.

​If you’re behind your window, I can step alongside you and point towards the direction of hope.  I want you to know that you’re not alone even though I know behind there it often feels so isolating.  I can only share what has helped me break my window.  By sharing, it heals the pieces of me that were wounded as I pounded that window with my fists and eventually found the hammer to finish the job.  By telling my story all the parts that were bruised as I stepped through the shattered glass are exposed.

For a while I wanted to be all perfectly put together because I figured then the world would never know about my secret window.  Now I want to show the pieces of broken glass, so others know that it’s possible to step through.  It’s not an easy journey and it has certainly left its mark, but that broken glass is now an incredible reminder of the power of the human spirit.

[this post is a chapter from my book, Uncovering Bliss]

Hi there!

I'm back in the blogging groove and it feels good!  I started a health and wellness blog back in 2013, and used to loved pouring my heart out...rambling basically about running, vegan eats and motherhood.  That was long before the vestibular stuff hit and I had any idea how it would shift my world.  Launching my first site did ignite the fire to connect with others wanting to thrive in this beautiful life though.  That's still my goal with Bliss Out and I believe that glowing wellness is at the heart of it all.  

When it comes to life with vestibular migraines my whole goal is basically not to have vestibular migraines...so essentially life without vestibular migraines.  This takes my being proactive in my wellness routine.  Not waiting for an attack and then figuring out what I'll do, but rather putting myself in a position so that attacks are a lot less likely to happen and if I start to feel symptoms creep, I know I need to step up my game.

I share my full wellness routine and essential oils routine, but today I'm focusing on what I do when I start to feel a light ache.  As if the pain wants to break through, but my body is trying really hard to fight back.  It's a signal to me that things could get a lot worse.

During the 18-months when my symptoms were much more intense, I rarely dealt with any migraine pain (the classic symptom).  To be honest I'd take pain any day over the vestibular symptoms (migraine dizziness, pressure in head and ears, derealization, disconnected/off kilter feelings, nausea).  However, these days (three years later after my initial attack) my symptoms are no longer 24/7 and they do not make a daily appearance.  When I do feel anything, it's generally much more subtle and a sign to me that I need to turn to my holistic toolkit.

Copaiba (the oil I'm using in this clip) is one of the most anti-inflammatory substances on earth and I love it!  It's properties also include antibacterial, antioxidant & antimicrobial.  Good stuff, friends. 

When I feel migraine pain trying to breakthrough, my first step is always to grab a glass of water and my oils. 

-I chug the glass of water (and make sure to stay hydrated) and think through how I want to combat the symptoms and support my body with my oils.  I used to be awful at drinking water and it's something I now know I need to remind myself to do.  "Step away from the latte, Emily.  Water, now!"

-I then use my essential oils throughout the day.  Not just once, but generally every hour.  Copaiba essential oils (certified pure therapeutic grade oil, only!) can be used topically and taken internally.  This oil's properties combat pain and inflammation therefore helping with headaches and migraines.  I take two drops of the oil in a veggie capsule every 3-4 hours (or use the softgels depending what I have on hand at the moment).  I use the roller bottle every hour applyint it to my temples, forehead and back of my neck.  [I added Adaptiv oil blend to my roller bottle as well for all the calming vibes]

Three years ago I knew close to nothing about essential oils.  I had no idea how to use them or how they could support my glowing wellness.  

Today they are the main component in my wellness routine, along with a plant-based diet and exercise, when it comes to thriving in this life with vestibular migraines- and BEYOND. 

​My mission is to basically lead a life without vestibular migraines.  That would be the ideal vestibular migraine life.  That makes sense, right? ;)

Oils are certainly not the only thing I depend on to support my health and help me maintain my balanced state.  If you feel drawn towards oils, visit my other resources and please reach out to me with questions.

Vestibular Warrior Oils Routine

My Routine During a Vestibular Migraine Attack [to thrive!]

Below are several other vestibular migraine natural treatments that I embrace to promote vibrant health:

Vestibular Migraine Prevention Diet [my version is vegan!]

move + meditate workouts

I hope that you have a wonderful day!

Em :)

Hi there!

It's been a week of reflecting over the last three years over here.  Today marks three years since vestibular neuritis hit, which triggered a cycle of vestibular migraines, none of which I could make sense of or understand in the beginning.  Everything is only so much clearer in retrospect.  I shared an episode today on the Bliss Out Vibes podcast talking about the power that we hold when it comes to our healing.  I also tell a story about an experience with a doctor that felt soul-crushing at the time, but created the shift I needed to keep showing up and relentlessly pushing forward.  

I'm sharing my story so that someone sitting in their beginning with vestibular neuritis or vestibular migraines is given a piece of hope.  So they know that they are not alone even though vestibular conditions can feel so isolating.  I'm sharing because three years ago I needed to hear someone else's story to help me find the light in mine, and I have since connected with many incredible Vestibular Warriors who have been such a light in my life.  It's a gift that I want to give back.  

I'm going to share what the last three years looked like merely to paint a picture of what healing has been for me.  Of course our stories will be different and just because my story looks a certain way doesn't mean it's right or wrong, it's just how the path unfolded for me.  I'm still traveling along that path.  I can gratefully say that I've recovered my wellness and continuing to do everything I can to promote vibrant health.

I went to many doctors before the term vestibular neuritis was said to me.  It was a physical therapist who stated that it probably was what I was dealing with, but I had come across the term on the internet prior to meeting with her.  The symptoms made sense and I so badly wanted to put a label on what I was experiencing.  My youngest was three months old when it hit.  I was full of so much love and so thankful for my beautiful baby while simultaneously feeling stuck in the darkness of my vestibular something searching for answers.   [For more information on vestibular neuritis, visit here]

Around a year in, I felt like I had climbed a huge mountain.  The floating feeling had faded along with the mental fatigue.  I was feeling so much more like myself; although, changed from the experience (I talk about mindset (our superpower) in my e-book Vestibular Warrior).  My symptoms became more erratic though, with ups and downs that I couldn't make sense of.  I'd have days of feeling 80% better and then I'd get swarmed with symptoms.  I started talking more with other Vestibular Warriors and a fellow mom mentioned to me that my symptoms seemed a lot like what she was dealing with, which was vestibular migraines.

It all started to make sense... the periods of feeling better (not 100%, but so close) and then unexpected regressions as I had called them.  The vestibular migraine label fit and so I started working to address that. [For more information on vestibular migraines, visit here]

My main symptoms included:
-derealization, like I was looking at my life from behind a window
-my eyes not wanting to focus, more intensely during episodes
-out of the blue anxiety attack
-like I was walking on a trampoline during attacks
-nausea + dizziness during an attack
-rarely any migraine pain

Nourishing plant-based diet, supplements, essential oils, move + meditate workouts, chiropractic adjustments, running (eventually)... it all became so important to maintain my wellness and continue to heal during the second year.  Diet + essential oils are still, and always will be, a crucial part of my everyday wellness routine to thrive.  I started a migraine-preventive medicine 19 months in that broke the constant cycle of attacks that happened weekly.  That's a whole other story though that I share here.  

I hit 100% around the two-year mark and have enjoyed the last year with a gratitude that cannot be explained.  I haven't been completely symptom free, but they only make an occasional appearance these days.  I had three intense episodes in the last year that I was able to dig myself out of within the day. 

It's felt like the greatest gift and I'm reminded of that gift - the grounded, balanced state - every day.

As I mentioned in a recent post, I'm working to wean off the migraine medicine.  I believe in holistic health and I want to give my body the opportunity to find its balance.  It's going to be a process and something I will share here.  

HOLISTIC NUTRITION

I'm back in school studying holistic nutrition all inspired by my journey with a vestibular something.  I want to be deeply in touch with the art of healing.

SHARING THE OILS LIFE

I'm sharing the essential oils life because it's been such a happy place even in the darkness of the vestibular stuff.  I love giving others the gift of owning their wellness through a holistic toolkit.

OWNING OUR WELLNESS

I want to be a part of the empowered movement for all of us living with a vestibular condition to take ownership of our wellness.  The movement already exists which is evident, but so many are still lost in the darkness.  There was a time that I was sinking in it.

​We all deserve to find light.

This three-year anniversary marks a year of finding my balance and making life shifts in the direction of my choosing. 

I want this next year to be a deeper focus on holistic health and what that means not only for me, but all of us Vestibular Warriors embracing life and embodying  glowing wellness- with a vestibular condition and beyond.  It's a beautiful thing.

I hope this post finds you well.  But please know, that if you are in your beginning with vestibular neuritis, vestibular migraines, or another vestibular condition, and feeling utterly lost, just know that your beginning is a beautiful place to start.

​Em :)

Hi hi!

I promised I'd be back to document the process of weaning off my migraine medication.  If you haven't read my first post, stop by here first.  It's only been a month, so while that's not a long period of time, it's a start.  Got to start somewhere, right? 

This post is about what I'm doing to level up my holistic support game as I wean off the migraine-preventive medication.  I know that the weaning process can cause symptoms and side effects and I'm trying to make this transition as blissful as possible.  I'm really excited to have developed a routine.  It certainly gives me confidence as well as mind & body support as I tackle this this next path in my vestibular journey.  

I am a lover of pure plant essential oils.  That's no secret.  I started using oils in the months after I was diagnosed with vestibular neuritis, and three years later, I've never looked back.  It has been one of the best decisions I've made for my wellness, especially in the throes of healing from a hellish vestibular condition.  

I'm going to share the main holistic support I'm focusing on right now.  My plan is to meet with a new neurologist soon and (hopefully) gain some insight on decreasing my dosage slowly but surely.  If you're finding this post and wanting to do the same, awesome!  Let's embark on this journey together.  I recommend that you work with your doctor on the best way to wean off your particular migraine medication and the dosage decrease that you should follow.  Then it's up to you to implement the beautiful holistic goodness to support YOU. 

Ok, here I go!​ 

ADAPTIV CALMING BLEND CAPSULES:
made of:  blend of CPTG essential oils Lavender, Coriander, Wild Orange, and Fennel along with Sceletium, GABA, and Ahiflower.  [note: GABA, helps promote relaxation.]
benefits:  calms and promotes positive feelings; supports mood and helps improve state of mind; helps when acclimating to new surroundings and adapting to stressful situations; encourages relaxation; supports cognitive function and emotional balance; promotes mental well-being
how to: I take one Adaptiv Calming Blend Capsule daily to combat stress, tension, and occasional anxious feelings

ADAPTIV TOUCH (OIL BLEND): 
made of:  pure plant oils- Wild Orange, Lavender, Copaiba, Spearmint, Magnolia, Rosemary, Neroli, and Sweetgum in a base of Fractionated Coconut Oil
benefits: helps boost mood; assists in centering; increases feelings of tranquility; soothes and uplifts; reduces feelings of anxiousness and tension
how to:  I apply the roller to pulse points to help with feelings of balance; massage on my shoulders and neck to ease tension and relieve fatigue; and apply to hands, rub together, and inhale deeply as needed throughout the day; and roll on wrists and temples whenever I feel the need to gain composure quickly

TURMERIC CAPSULES:
made of: synergy of tumerones and curcuminoids, in order to maximize the effectiveness and benefits of both compounds for a healthy inflammatory response
benefits: combines the complementary benefits of both turmeric essential oil with the joint support of the curcuminoids of turmeric extract in a unique and convenient delivery system; helps support a healthy inflammatory response in the body (yes, please!)
how to:  I take a capsule (with Copaiba described below) before bed.  If I'm feeling a headache upon waking, I take a capsule in the morning as well

COPAIBA SOFTGELS:
made of:  copaiba resin
benefits:  powerful antioxidant; soothes and supports the nervous system
how to:  I take one softgel as needed, most often before bed with Turmeric capsule [note: I also take Copaiba if symptoms intensify, especially during a vestibular migraine attack]

PEPPERMINT OIL:
made of:  pure plant peppermint!
benefits: soothes/combats headache; invigorating; soothes stomach upset
how to:  I apply Peppermint to my temples when I first wake-up in the morning, and as needed all throughout the day.  It's my BFF oil ;)

The awesome thing about oils is although I'm using them to cater to my personal needs at this stage, they also support my overall glowing health.  I love that!  

I hope that you find this helpful and of course reach out if you have any questions!  

Also, if you want to join in the fun, I've included a link below that makes it simple for you to purchase each of the products I describe above (and any other oils you may be excited about!).  Note, doTERRA ships around the world, so if your home is outside the US, shoot me a quick message here and I'll help you order.  Upon ordering, you'll also receive a note and little gift from me.  Let me know if you're a Vestibular [and/or Migraine] Warrior too- I'd love to connect with you!  Be sure to visit the Vestibular Warrior Wellness Hub.

Sending happy vibes your way!!  See you next month with another update.

​Em :)

In my opinion the medication only helped me go from 90% to 100% (most days) because my holistic game was so strong.  As I talk about in my 3-year update video, I have to keep up with my migraine diet (vegan by choice), supplements and holistic wellness routine.  The medication is just a piece of the puzzle, but I'll always put out there the reminder that it wasn't the thing that got me to 90%. 

It was the hammer that smashed my window.

I want to wean off the medication because I feel like I'm at a place in my life where I'm ready.  I've spent the last fifteen months on it and I've only had three more intense attacks, all of which I pulled myself through within the day.  That fact has been incredibly empowering.  The attacks did not take over my week.  They were a pronounced reminder of how much power I have in taking ownership of my wellness and my life.

Want the honest truth, though?  I want to prove to myself that I can do this holistically.  I deeply believe that we are meant to thrive in this life.  Our bodies are meant to heal and we are meant to feel that deep bliss that radiates from the soul.

Also, I don't know the consequences of being on the medication long-term, because while I'm thankful for the balance the medicine has assisted with, what if it's hurting my body in other ways?  I think about that stuff.

I remember saying out loud I'd rather lose my arm than go through this.  That's not a fair statement to say and I know that now, but in the throes of the vestibular hell I was angry...but that was really just a cover for the sadness.   And in the darkest moments the derealization was so intense I felt like I was losing my grip on reality.  What if I fall into the darkness?

​One of the things I encounter most when talking with other vestibular warriors is the feeling of desperation.  I know that feeling intimately.  I have a clear memory of the time that I was driving and I felt the anxiety spike.  That raging anxiety that warned me the vestibular storm was on its way.  I safely pulled over in a parking lot and got out of the car.  Sure enough my world was off kilter and I no longer was connected to the body that was apparently mine.  The tears starting falling as I tried to spatially gather my surroundings.  All I felt was overwhelming fear and desperation.  That's the dark part of that story.

The light is that I did gather myself even though I was rattled to my core.  I showed up that day like nothing had happened and I somehow made it through.  And because I did that, I looked that desperation in the eye.  The fear didn't disappear that day, but it also didn't define me.  So when people ask me about conquering that feeling of despair, I'm honest. 

​Feel it and acknowledge it, but figure out how to walk beside it.  Because the more you walk beside it, the more you'll realize it's actually slipping behind as you move forward. 

If you are in the beginning or messy middle with a vestibular something and questioning if healing is possible, I'm here to argue that it is. 

I can't tell you what that looks like for you, but I believe to my core that it is completely possible.  Healing involves the mind, body, soul and everything in between.  If you feel broken right now, it's time to look at this as an opportunity to put the pieces - everything that makes up you - where you want them.

Vestibular conditions are complicated and our treatments may vary, but when it comes to healing the heartbreak and pain, I think we get each other completely.  I think so many of us can relate to one another on that bumpy trail.  We are simultaneously walking trails that are intertwined and when our paths cross, it's a sigh of relief that someone else is also out on the trail.

My heart tells me that I must share so that others on the trail know they are not alone.  

My mind imagines a movement of all of us taking back our wellness.

And my soul knows that we are meant to thrive in this beautiful life- with a vestibular something and beyond.

Vestibular Warrior Resources // YouTube Videos [Vestibular Warrior] // Oils Routine for Vestibular Warriors // Contact Em

Migraine Vegan Diet // Plant-based diet: YouTube video}

Our food choices have the power to make huge shifts  in our bodies + our world.

Eliminating the junk, gives the body the opportunity to free itself of that weight, both emotionally and physically, and as a result, it can heal, flourish + thrive.
 
Food is freaking fantastic.  It fuels us and quite literally provides us with the sustenance of our being.  It is the nourishment and first line of defense against disease.  It plays a role in our physical and emotional quality of life and is essential to our wellness.  I am an inspired advocate of a plant-based diet; however, the basis for that is whole, from the earth, foods.  I will immediately credit a large part of my ability to heal with a vestibular condition to the way I was eating.  In my mind, there’s no doubt about  it.  I know in my soul that it pulled me up and out and gave me the energy to push forward.   

Admittedly, I didn’t have much of an appetite in the beginning.  When you’re world is off kilter and walking is a huge task, my appetite certainly wasn’t vibrant.  I drank a lot of smoothies (and continue to).  It was a way for me to simply pack in nutrition when functioning was a battle of its own.

I first embraced a plant-based diet in 2009, which changed my world, my perspective, how I felt about myself, and at the same time released me of so much negativity.  It certainly didn't happen overnight, but looking back over the last decade I can very easily point out that making that shift was
the catalyst for so much goodness.

I once received a comment how my plant-based diet didn’t stop me from getting hit with vestibular neuritis.  That hurt my heart (a lot), mostly because a vestibular disorder is damaging enough, and adding guilt on top of it was like a pile of bricks on my soul. 

But that’s correct, it didn’t stop it from happening, but man did it fuel me to stand back up, fight onward, and conquer.

Even though I was eating a plant-based diet when it all happened, I still needed to make tweaks.  It’s about really listening and paying attention to the feedback your body is giving you.  You may find that certain foods are triggers for symptoms (read: Migraine Vegan Diet) and therefore, they are not helping your body. 

That doesn’t mean you need to say goodbye to those foods forever.  As far as triggering foods, we are all different.  Many with vestibular migraines find they need to stay clear of coffee, chocolate, dairy, citrus, white sugar, gluten and processed foods.  To be honest, I believe eliminating dairy, white sugar and excess processed foods can help everyone elevate their wellness. 

Through working with a holistic doctor, I learned that sugar was feeding the problem inside me, so there was a period of time that I was more restrictive.  There was a solid six months that I avoided gluten, white sugar, processed foods, along with keeping within my plant-based framework. 

Was it hard at times?  You bet.  Was it worth it?  Absolutely. 

The food you eat will influence how you feel tomorrow and beyond, how you think, how you heal, and how you move forward.  When I was in the midst of it, I did not have the luxury to eat whatever my heart desired, but as I started to feel better, what I desired was simply nourishing food.  It might start out difficult, but then it becomes a habit, and then it is a part of you. 
​
Then, it becomes a part of your beautiful wellbeing. ​

The anxiety that came with a vestibular condition could (and often did) bring me to my knees.

Crumbling on my bedroom floor because it just felt so heavy.

Panic attacks in the bathroom at work and then coming out with a smile on my face like everything was fine.

Learning to power through when my system felt like it was on fire.

Uncovering how I could calm my mind + body and fight back.

Vestibular disorders are intertwined with anxiety and distinguishing the condition from the panic is a fruitless task.  But, the anxiety was crippling.  Or was that just the vestibular condition?  My point is that it's all mixed together and that's an important piece to remember, because it felt like a cop-out when a  doctor tried to simply say that I was just dealing with anxiety.  I've connected with many other vestibular warriors who have been told that it's just anxiety too.

But anxiety is a symptom, and an all-consuming one at that.​

The first year with vestibular neuritis was as if my body was in a constant state of alarm.  I once had a chiropractor (that I highly respect) tell me that my body was in a state of trauma.  Those words were comforting because in that moment that is exactly how it felt.  

My body was distressed and the heartache that came with that only heightened the panic.

There were a number of things that I started incorporating into my wellness routine to get on top of the anxiety and it all helped so much.  Was it an immediate fix?  No.  It took dedication and developing a wellness routine that would become the foundation of my healing.  

If you feel that the anxiety is taking control of your wellbeing, I hear you.  I had to look it in the eye.  I even sat with it in meditation which felt like I had just stepped out into a hail storm with no warning.  But once I felt it, I knew what I was working with.  I was determined to take back my control, and that's exactly what I did.

There were many instances of what felt like ten steps forward and then five steps back.  Forward is forward regardless of the pace though. 

I used essential oils every day to support my wellness.  I used them proactively and in the moment with symptoms.  There are many oils that I use (and I share lots on Instagram), so please know that I'm only discussing a few favorites below.

​Lavender is one of my favorites.  Rolling it on my temples when I felt a spike, inhaling it from my hands to intake some calm, and applying it to my feet bottoms (diluted) before bed to support overall health.

I longed to feel grounded.  I quite literally visualized what it would feel like to feel grounded in my body.  I listened to a chiropractor who told me to stand in the grass and imagine a grounded state.  I daydreamed about it.  Dreamy, right?

Onto the next: 

The Balance blend spoke to me on an emotional level.  Its properties are everything I was seeking.  I started my day be rolling it on my feet bottoms and dabbing it on my wrists and taking in its goodness.  I started to build an association with it and it became my oh so lovely grounded friend.

When anxiety was streaming, I knew I needed to uplift my mental state.  It's so easy to get caught in its force, so it took work to shift my state.  I used Wild Orange in my home to set the stage.

For me, fear was anxiety's buddy.  And that's a big weight to lift.  Because remember anxiety was just one factor of the vestibular condition.  So I truly needed to balance my energy and create the calm + happy environment outside that I longed for inside.  I'd diffuse Wild Orange (or Balance, Lavender or another oil) to shift the energy in my home and elicit that beautiful emotional response.  

I'd sit with the diffuser pumping, letting my system rage, Balance on my feet bottoms, and Lavender behind my ears... that's a whole lot of fight.  And amongst the storm, I'd find my happy calm.

That's why I love oils.  They're empowering and a strong player in my support system.

Oils are certainly not the whole story.

Foam rolling, move + meditate sessions (up to 5x/week in some periods), magnesium drinks, supplements, water, healing foods, connecting with others, and eventually running the trails which opened my soul and released so much tension...

I think it starts with making small shifts that are impactful and filled with hope. 

Create the calm that you crave.

I started sharing about oils because they were making a difference in my world and a light in my dark.  I'm here to support you along your path, too.  

Dear Vestibular Warrior,

​I know there’s a part of me that you understand completely because you’ve been in the same all-consuming moments that come with vestibular stuff.  You’ve probably had moments where you felt so out of control of what was happening to your body, and that may have left you feeling entirely powerless. 

I hope that you’ve discovered that you are certainly not powerless.  You are magnificent and relentlessly fighting back.  I know this because just the fact that we're connecting means you care big time, and you’re striving to feel better... to feel like you.

The truth is that there's a lot of variety with vestibular conditions.  At the same time there's a string running through it all, so even if my experience isn't identical to yours, there's certainly a resemblance. 

Vestibular stuff disconnects us from the world in so many ways.  Sort of ironic because in the same sense, it's connected you and I. 

The more I talk with other vestibular warriors, the more I realize that so many of our stories have the same chapters:  trying to get a diagnosis, finding a doctor that gets it, handling the anxiety, coping with the fact that most people won't understand what it's like, figuring out what helps and what hurts, uncovering strength we didn't know existed, finding gratitude that only comes with climbing tough mountains... the list goes on.  

One of the first doctors I saw after the initial intense attack told me that I could feel like this for a month.  In that moment, that thought crushed me.  How could this last a month?  How would I get through...?  I laugh as I type this because what I didn't know then was that symptoms would be 24/7 for much longer than a month...it was close to 15 months before I truly touched "normalcy".  And I feel beyond lucky that I can say that.  I know that's not the reality for many.

I believe that gaining a soulful perspective on how I wanted to feel was my guiding light.  I know in the beginning it was "I want to feel how I used to".  But, over time that evolved into, I just want to feel grounded in this body that's fought like hell for me.  I didn't want to go back to before,  because I believe I became more "me" having gone through this experience.  I had walked an incredibly bumpy trail and gotten to the  other side of mountain... No way I was going back to the start. 

I eat foods that fuel and nourish my wellness and I believe in the power of food as medicine.  For me, that's a plant-based diet.  There was a period I even questioned my vegan diet- something I'd embraced 10 years earlier (read this post, if that interests you).  I use essential oils, which was a bit daunting when I was brand new to them, but quickly turned into something that helped me heal and support my body both emotionally and physically.  That's my supportive system, but certainly not the entire picture.

I know that putting my diet at the forefront and having a holistic support system was a huge step in a beautiful direction.  Like I was walking along the trail for days with rain pouring down and someone walked up next to me with an umbrella... and a  muffin.  That's why I share all I do-  I'm just passing out umbrellas and muffins on the trail.  You get me, right?

Hi out there!  How are you today?  I know you can't really answer, but I would love to hear from you.  
I made a decision this weekend.  My heart feels ready and my soul is just bursting to open up.  So, I'm going to share my journey with a vestibular condition - the full story (eventually, over several posts).  I want to put the twists and turns in writing, not only for myself, but for all the vestibular warriors out there.  And even if you aren't dealing with a vestibular "something", we all have life events that are monumental.  That shape us and we come out changed.  I'm sharing because it's been such a profound journey of getting to know, well, myself.  I want to put hope and inspiration out to the universe and to anyone who needs it, because that's what I so desperately needed 861 days ago when it all started. 

861 days ago as I sat on the couch in my family room barely able to keep me eyes focused without a concerted effort and the world floating beneath me, I needed someone to look me in my lost eyes and say:

This is going to be really, really hard and it's going to test you on every level.  There will be days that you'll get through just by focusing on the moments.  But, you will uncover true beauty in this life.  You will cry and have hopeless moments too, but you will get up after every fall, and you will get through this.  And then you will uncover all that makes up you, and you'll be thankful for this mountain that shifted your perspective and encouraged you to uncover your bliss.

And if that's what you needed to hear right now, I'm so glad that we've connected.   

​A part of me wishes I had been more open about it back when I was truly in the throes of it, but ultimately I know I wasn't ready... or able to.  I was so lost and scared as to what I could say.  I didn't want to admit to myself (yet) what was unfolding.  I had no answers as to what I was dealing with and barely knew what I'd feel like one moment to the next.  Google searches were more helpful than any doctor I'd talked to. 

​But, somewhere in the thick of it, I knew I'd relentlessly push forward.  I had no clue what that would look like, but my blind hope was all I could grasp onto.

[Note, I'm going to skim many details, only because I share my whole story: here.]

On October 31, 2016, I was hit with vestibular neuritis, which triggered a cycle of vestibular migraines with no relief in between- 24/7 symptoms. I had just returned to work earlier that month from maternity leave.  My boys were two and 3-months old.  There are so many details that blur together that first year, but that first week I remember so clearly.

Crawling around my house because walking was impossible.  If I did walk, I was holding the walls because spatially I was disconnected from myself. 

My husband gently placing our newborn in my arms so I could feed him.  I remember quietly sobbing as I fed him so thankful for his love and so sad because in many ways I felt like I was missing out.

Seeing multiple doctors and trying to make it clear what had happened and how I felt.  And I remember being angry with the world when I realized that no doctor was going to fix me, or even understand my situation.    

I remember being incredibly scared and without answers.

I looked at my two boys and husband, who of course could not understand how terrible I felt, how disconnected I was from the body I was sitting in, and how disorienting the world was around me.  The honest truth is unless you've experienced a vestibular something, you can't truly understand it.  And I'm glad for that, because I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

861 days ago was a beautiful time in my life that became bombarded with really tough stuff.  It was actually sort of a bizarre experience going back through my phone this weekend searching for photos from that time period 2+ years ago, mainly because I didn't really want to see what I looked like.  Although I didn't find many photos of myself from that time, most of the ones I did were of me smiling.  Smiling?  That surprised me.  Vestibular stuff often feels very dreamlike and in my worst moments I wondered if by some miracle I was dreaming and would wake up from this nightmare.  

I look at this picture (below) of my youngest and I, which I took a few months in, and I'm reminded how much love and goodness I had looking me in the eyes and saying: you CAN do this and you WILL do this.  I had gone to the hairdresser to get my hair highlighted believing that if I looked put together on the outside, maybe the rest of me would catch up... in time.

One of the biggest factors with vestibular conditions is that they are invisible to the world. 

I could be standing in the grocery store barely handling the blaring lights, feeling like I was swaying on a moving dock to the waves, my eyes working overtime to make the world stay in place, and full body anxiety coursing like fire to my system, and the lady behind me could compliment me on how put-together I looked with my two little boys.  In moments like that I could only smile back, but later cry in the shower because keeping up a façade of "I'm totally ok" is exhausting and soul crushing.

But, pretending I was ok long before I truly was also saved me in a really big way.  More on that in a future post...

As I recount these details, I'm bursting with gratitude at the progress I've made over the last 861 days.  Yesterday was a 99.9% better day.  Let's just call it a 100 because why not?  One hundred percent feeling-amazing-day and mind + body bliss.  And I have lots of those kind of days... now.  Most, actually.  

I was at the library with my husband and boys and they were playing on the computers.  I stepped away for a moment and stood in the middle of the kids section just taking in my world,  how beautifully steady it was and how the sun shining through the windows felt freaking fantastic.  My husband looked over and laughed understanding what I was doing.  He's well aware of my stopping to take in my settings and how I'm feeling.  There was certainly a time when I never paused to truly take in my surroundings because how it felt was beyond awful, and I couldn't emotionally go there. 

​There's a lot for me to share on what got me to this point from 861 days ago, and I promise I will.  I will pour out my heart and soul and together we will elevate our wellness.

I believe that we can heal from the inside out.  It's not instantaneous by any stretch and it takes patience and time.  It doesn't necessary mean we're exactly the same as we once were.  But healing from the inside out is empowering and lifechanging.  What if we shifted our perspective and looked just at how we've progressed? 

I'm a huge believer in holistic wellness and a plant-based diet.  I also believe that western medicine is a beautiful thing when used appropriately, and finding a doctor that finally understood my situation (18 months in by the way) was a wonderful thing.

861 days ago was the fresh start I didn't know would happen.  And I certainly had no idea I'd be grateful for it.

Wherever this post finds you, whether it's top of the mountain or at the bottom looking up, let's come together and help each other climb.

I'm just getting started.  I'll be back soon!

​Em :)

{p.s. I created a new Instagram account where I'll be share all things vestibular stuff, from healing, food, supplements, holistic support, mindset... & beyond.  I'd love to connect!}