I think vestibular somethings and fear are probably best friends. I imagine that all vestibular conditions carry fear with them. I mean, they completely upset our lives (to varying degrees), take us out of our grounded state, and make us feel entirely disrupted.
The fearful questions danced in the back corners of my mind constantly, but I didn’t dare entertain them long…
What if this vestibular stuff never goes away?
What if I feel like this forever?
What if I get lost in the derealization darkness?
What if I lose my hope?
I do not play the ugly “what if” game with my vestibular something anymore. I will lose that game because the questions always sting regardless of the answers. I learned along my journey that it would have been way easier to fall in the darkness of the vestibular stuff, but that’s not where my light was guiding me. It was harder to get up every day and climb out of the darkness and keep moving forward, but my fear lived in that dark hole and I didn’t dare visit long. I started to play a new “what if” game.
What if I do overcome my vestibular something?
What if I help others do the same?
What if it is one of the best things that happens to me?
What if it was just a piece in the puzzle to all I'm meant to do in this life?
Guess what happened… my fears began to shapeshift. My biggest fear wouldn’t be about my vestibular something and it what it could do, but rather about me and what if I didn’t take a stand against it. I feared not fueling my health and putting up a fight and demanding more for my wellness and my future. I feared how mad I’d be at myself for not giving it my all to get my life back.
(Vestibular Warriors, that was a glimpse from my upcoming project Creating Bliss. Get excited!! Good things coming your way.)