I'm here to talk about something that I think is really important when it comes to vestibular migraine healing and recovery: regressions and setbacks.  It's something I have experienced many, many times along my journey since 2016.

The first year I was just trudging through darkness relentlessly (I was most likely suffering from vestibular neuritis, which triggered vestibular migraines). 

There was no path.  I was just going and I wasn't even sure where I was going.  Healing, I hoped.  Praying I'd get back to me, wherever she was.  I certainly didn't recognize the girl in the mirror.  Derealization came with me as I floated my way through life... always floating, which still makes me cringe.  I haven't revisited these moments in a while and I always feel a pang in my heart when I do.  Basically, my symptoms were constantly flooding my mind and body and I didn't have a moment of relief. [note: I share my whole journey in Uncovering Bliss if that interests you]

If you're journeying with a vestibular something, then you probably understand the darkness completely.

By the end of year one, I was starting to find the light that would guide me as I healed.  I was deeply embracing a holistic approach, but healing was slow.  I had moments - brief moments - when I could gasp for air.  I'd say I hit 80% by that first year, but that wasn't without several setbacks and regressions.  In that second year the regressions were in full force.  I'd be dancing along at my 90% better, feeling so damn good and alive and then BAM!  The symptoms would return without any notice or explanation.  It hurt my heart. 

In many ways the regressions were harder than when my symptoms were full-force all-the-time because in the darkness I sort of got used to it (not easy by any stretch, but familiar).  When I had seen the light and felt a bit of relief, it felt so blissful that losing that bliss was a slap in the face.  More like getting run over by a truck.  Emotionally and physically it hurt.  It freaking stung and then I had to fight my way back out of it.

I was in the throes of a vestibular migraine cycle- something I wouldn't really understand until I could process everything once I was further along.

My first day without any symptoms was over 18 months in.  But even after that blissful day, there were more setbacks.  I know I'm very lucky that I can say I've hardly experienced any vestibular symptoms in the last two years.  

Last week I felt a twinge of it and it only ignited my memory on how real regressions are.  I am so thankful that it never turned into a full attack and it passed within the day.  I woke up the next day rattled by the glimpse of it and anxious, but driven to take on the day and push forward.  I went grocery shopping and felt the ground beneath my feet and smiled that I was standing.  It had passed in a flash- just a glitch in the Matrix (as my friend told me).  That shows how much healing I've really done.  It didn't take days or weeks to come through.  Hours rather than days...

My plan has always been to heal myself... Thank you, Universe.  ​

My point in sharing all this is that healing is not linear.  One of my worst attacks was around eighteen months in.  I also started to touch recovery soon thereafter.  That's just the way it goes.  

These days I know that regressions mean I need to look at how I'm feeding my health.  

How am I eating?
Am I getting into nature?
What is fueling my soul each day?

These things really matter.  They are the foundation of my health and wellness.  

 My experience last week inspired me to dive into a third round of the 3:6:9 Medical Medium Cleanse.  Here I am on day 8 (of 9) and glad I've pushed through it.  Mentally it's been a game this round, but I feel like I'm coming out stronger than ever. [my full Medical Medium journey can be found here]

I hope I've kicked the pain migraines to curb and of course want to eliminate any vestibular something, but time will tell.  If I experience another glitch, I know what I need to do.  I believe in healing.

Also, I'm almost off my migraine medication, down to the last dosage and just need to say goodbye.  The weaning could also account for the migraine experience. It's been eight months of slowly weaning.  I'll be sharing more about that soon.

So, here's to setbacks and regressions...  Maybe they are just showing us when we need to take a turn on the bumpy path.  Stumble, but get back up.  It might sting, but the bliss is on the other side.

Em here.  I'm holding the best damn burrito in Seattle in the above picture.  This plant-powered goodness has been fueling me these days (plus chips + guac, of course).

​I can't begin without commenting on the amount of chaos and pain happening in the world right now.  So many in Seattle are showing support, working towards racial equity, and I'm so thankful to be in this city.  My mission each day is to bring more love into the world.  There needs to be BIG change.  My heart aches for so many.  I also recognize that most of the people I connect with in this space are Vestibular Warriors.  Healing does start with the kindness we show ourselves and how we nourish our minds and bodies.  We can in turn bring kindness into the world.  Let the spark ignite within you, so together we can create change.

As I write this post I feel like I've gone back in time.  In 2013 I created my first blog Love A Latte where I shared my life as a plant-based eater, runner and my journey into motherhood.  I just talked about my life and a lot of that was all the running I was doing.  I'd wake up before work and run.  I'd put together training plans and share all about them connecting with others who were passionate about health + wellness.  Man, it was so much fun!  The blogging world was such a different place back then.  I just recently stopped paying for my old site- felt like the right time to let it go considering I hadn't written on it in three years.  Also, the vestibular something changed my world.  I feel like a new me in so many ways (which I'm sure you understand if you too are a Vestibular Warrior). 

My heart feels happy just to let the words flow and share with you my next adventure.  Running is a best friend of mine.  It brought me back to life in 2018 when I was starting to recover my wellness after the vestibular storm.  I slowlyyy got back out on the trails.  I placed no expectations on myself and just craved being out in nature again.  I'd run for a few minutes and then walk some.  I'd walk some more and then run when I felt up to.  I felt the ground beneath my feet and over weeks of taking to the trail a few days a week, I was just running again.  It was an awakening.  It built up my confidence after it had been shattered by vestibular neuritis + vestibular migraines.  

I had one of my worst attacks in the summer of 2018.  Running was my comeback.  I remember listening to books like Girl, Wash Your Face and Bite Me: How Lyme Disease Stole My Childhood, Made Me Crazy, and Almost Killed Me and music like Macklemore and Daft Punk...and uncovering a heck of a lot of bliss as I felt my body working for me.

Fast forward two years, I've recovered my wellness (and still working to heal and thrive each day) and I'm really excited to set my next goal.  I also thought it would be fun to get back in the blogging groove.  In July I'm diving into getting a Plant-based Nutrition Certificate with eCornell just to take things up a notch.  I love learning about plant-based nutrition and I thought it would be a beautiful addition in my nutrition consulting.  Along with that 6-week program I want to start hitting the trails again.  Basically getting my body in shape to begin training (see below) in August for a race come November.

Here's my training plan.  I'm sharing it to make myself accountable, but also because I love to read about others training adventures, so thought there might be someone else out there who enjoys reading about mine.  I know this space is typically dedicated to just to vestibular condition healing, but a big part of the healing is moving beyond the vestibular storm.  This is me doing just that.  I should also mention that I've been a runner the last decade+.  I started running my last year of college and it's been a love of mine since.  I've run a few half marathons, one full and a few shorter races.  But ultra running, that's the dream... Rich Roll is someone I certainly look up to.

I have no idea what this training will look like!  I feel like a new running-me post-vestibular stufffff.  
I know how to take better care of my health now.
I know how to nourish and fuel my body from the inside out (hey plants!).
I know how to use my holistic toolkit of pure essential oils and supplements for extra support.
And I feel so thankful for all the incredible people I've connected with along the way...

So here I go!  I'll be back soon to update you.
​-Em

 Hi there,

It's about time I post during this chaotic time that we're in...  As I type this from my Seattle home, I'm filled with a deep gratitude for the days and weeks I've spent with my family at home and in nature, yet I'm simultaneously heartbroken about the status of the world and ache for the many people hurting.  But there's a light in that ache, and it's the love and kindness that is being shown by people right now in this time of Coronavirus.  The earth - our home - is getting a chance to heal.  The sky has never looked more beautiful.  And there's a calm in between the chaos.  I have so much to say about how I feel about everything that's happening, but my overall message is simple:  I am and always will be for empowered wellness.  This relates hugely to this space I've created for Vestibular Warriors.  

I believe in healing.

I know that we can make lifestyle shifts that are monumental when it comes to our wellness (and the wellness of this planet). 
​
I believe that we are meant to thrive in this human-experience.

Anthony William says it perfectly in his latest book:

This is the perfect time for Vestibular Warriors to go deeper with their healing.  There is no better time than now to go inward and focus on your wellness.  It's a beautiful thing to uncover the root cause and take the steps to heal from the inside out.  Health starts on an individual level.  When I'm kind to myself and focus on fueling my health- mind, body & spirit, I can then shine light to those around me.  Wellness is a light that we can keep sharing and shining for one another.  

It's a gift that we should share with one another.  

A few days ago I started diving in with Medical Medium Cleanse to Heal by Anthony William.  I'm not new to Medical Medium, but the last few months I have been incorporating more of the protocols in my wellness routine: drinking celery juice every morning and taking recommended supplements.  I can completely tell that it has taken my healing to another level.  It's not something that happens overnight, but in the moments, days and weeks of committing to fueling my body in an incredibly intentional and thoughtful way.  

My goal is to touch complete freedom from the vestibular stuff.  While I do feel like I've recovered my wellness after the vestibular storm (read Uncovering Bliss: A Journey With a Vestibular Condition and Beyond for my whole story and the mind & body experience) and I rarely experience vestibular symptoms, I'm still weaning off my migraine medication and I do get the occasional twinge of symptoms.  I'm getting so close to being off my migraine medication (all posts on that here) and I know that freedom from it is in sight. 

I'm ready to take this next step and for me it's part of uncovering bliss every single day.  

The below is an excerpt from Cleanse to Heal in the section especially important for Vestibular Warriors:

The biggest change that I'm making with following this book is that I'm incorporating the supplement list for vertigo/migraines.  I have already been taking a majority of these supplements for the last few months, but I'm now learning that I need to change the dosage on most of them.  Basically I need to up the amount I'm taking a bit, which makes sense to me.  I'm taking it slow and embracing the cleansing process.  

One of the supplements I started taking more of is L-lysine and I have noticed that I've had moments where I've felt like I want to jump out of my skin.  Sort of odd to describe but I connected with another Vestibular Warrior who felt the same way.  I've also been tired in a happy way.  Like my body is getting the goodness it needs and figuring out what to do with it.  I love drinking celery juice each morning and I feel lucky that I can make it happen every day.  I was drinking about 16oz each morning the last 10ish weeks, but Cleanse To Heal recommends working up to 32oz, and I'm up for the challenge!

Along with embracing this protocol, I know that right now it's especially important for me to focus on the good and what I want to bring into this world.  So, here I am at the (sort of) beginning of this next step and I'm excited to share it with you.  I want to help others feel empowered on their healing journey.  That's why I share all I do on Vestibular Warrior YouTube and why I'll continue to.

If we haven't connected on Instagram, I would love to!  I make a point to share a lot of my journey there and we can root for one another along the way.

-Em

Hi there.

How to even start this post... Well, I'm here to tell you about diving into the Medical Medium protocols, what that even means, why I'm doing it, and what my goals are.  I I figure I should just start from the beginning.,,

Three and a half years ago my world went sideways.  Enter: vestibular neuritis + vestibular migraines.  [visit my FAQ page for all the details on my journey]

I was lost.  I was terrified.  I had no idea what was happening to my mind and body.  The symptoms were all-consuming, overwhelming, and soul-crushing- feeling like my world was titled, my eyes not focusing right, raging anxiety, mental fatigue, dizziness, floating feeling, and it goes on).  My search for answers started immediately and I share that experience of recovering my wellness in my book Uncovering Bliss: A Journey with a Vestibular Condition and Beyond.

And now, I'm ready to tackle the root cause and find complete freedom from the vestibular stuff.  This has always been the goal really, but recovering my health has been a process.  It happened one step at a time, crawling along most of the time, and involved taking 10 steps forward and 5 steps back over and over again.  Around two years in, I started using the word "recovered" and for me that means that most days I feel pretty fantastic.  I get occasional migraine pain and I'm in the process of weaning off my migraine-preventive medication (read all about that here).  My goal is to be med-free and thriving with vibrant health.  

I believe that we are meant to thrive in this human-experience and that is my passion and overall message to the incredible Vestibular Warriors that I connect with.

For starters, if you haven't heard of Medical Medium be sure to visit the website and listen to the podcast.  Also, I found this article from Goop fascinating and it really helped me piece together what probably happened to me. 

Medical Medium is all about deep healing.  Getting at the root cause.  I freaking love the message.  Our bodies are not out to get us; we can and are meant to heal.

Medical Medium is not new to me.  Holistic healing has been my passion all along.  When I was first hit with vestibular neuritis in October 2016 one of the first books I bought was Medical Medium: Thyroid Healing because it talks about vestibular conditions, the underlying cause and how to heal.  It was a lot to take in.  It made sense to me, but my symptoms were so intense that trying to comprehend everything that was potentially happening within me was hard.  I incorporated a few of the protocols- cutting gluten, sugar and processed foods from my diet (I already didn't eat dairy or eggs which are also recommended to eliminate).  I followed the diet for a period of six months along with my version of the migraine diet and it honestly did help.  I felt better, but I still had a ways to go.  This framework of eating is still the basis for my diet, but I'm not perfect by any stretch.  I've been following a plant-based diet the last decade and it is a beautiful part of my life.

I still did not understand how deeply rooted my vestibular something was and why it hit in the beginning.  I was in survival mode, getting through life as a mom of two young kids (newborn and 2 year old when it hit), working, keeping up with life and just trudging through the darkness of my vestibular condition.  So I followed the diet guidelines and was incorporating many other holistic pieces (pure essential oils, craniosacral work, working with a holistic doctor, meditation, etc.) but for whatever reason my Medical Medium focus sort of got put on the back burner.    

Here I am, years later and so grateful to be where I am, no longer drowning in symptoms and I'm ready to really focus on the root cause.  Let's talk Epstein-Barr virus.

I dusted off the Medical Medium Thyroid healing book from the cupboard and gave it a refresher read.  Logically, it makes perfect sense to me.  I was kicking myself wondering why it took me so long to bring this knowledge into my focus.  Medical Medium's stance is that pathogen/viruses are at the root of all symptoms.  That lines up completely with me.  Something caused vestibular neuritis- it didn't just poof out of thin air.  The virus/pathogen inflamed my vestibular nerve and then started to wreak havoc on the nervous system.  [Again, if this is brand new to you, read this article]

As I read through the stages of Epstein-Barr virus, I just kept nodding my head.  I had mono at 17 and just over a decade later BAM- the vestibular stuff hits. (By the way, you don't need to have had mono for any of this to have taken place)  I read through the symptoms, what it would feel like, and I just kept saying "yes, yes, yesss...".  

That's why I'm jumping into the protocols and I'm so excited.  I've been celery juicing that last few weeks and it's my new favorite way to start the day.  I've been sticking with my plant-based smoothies but incorporating Medical Medium recommended things like Hawaiian spirulina, barley grass, dates, lots of bananas).  I've been eating lots of nourishing plant-based goodness and it feels wonderful.

My next step is the supplements, which I plan to do another post on once I have more to report.  I'm very much catering this plan to me.  We are all different and the underlying cause of our vestibular something often vary; although, may be very similar.

I'm four months into weaning off my migraine-preventive medication and down by 1/2 of my original dosage.  It feels gooood. [read past posts on this topic here]

I don't have much to report other than this last month I felt like my body was speaking to me to go down by a little bit more of my dosage, and so I did.  I'm taking it slow and steady but this last month made a slightly bigger jump.  Since I've been embracing really clean eating and bringing in some new supplements, I just felt ready.  That being said, I plan to continue to take it slow as I do not want to shock my body in any way.  I'm in this for the long game!

In writing my book and sharing my YouTube videos, a lot of what I talk about is in retrospect.  I think there is something really special about that because my perspective has evolved over the course of the last few years of this vestibular journey.  It's given me an opportunity to shine light to those in the darkness of the vestibular stuff.

But now, I want to share in the moment. 

I want to give an honest account of what it looks like beyond recovering my wellness into what it looks like to heal from the inside out.

I hope you're listening, Universe.  I plan to heal myself.  I believe we should all be empowered to do the same.  I'm putting it out there so that you know my drive from the start.

I'd love to connect with you on your journey!
-Em

​I did not have a diagnosis for 21 months.  I self-diagnosed long before a doctor slapped a label on my symptoms.  That being said, I started healing long before the vestibular neuritis + vestibular migraine sticker.  I believed from the beginning that I could have an impact on my health.  Honestly the diagnosis didn’t give me anything other than an easier way to sum up what I was experiencing.  It definitely didn’t give me all the answers.  I don’t want another Vestibular Warrior to think that they need a definitive label to start healing.  Embracing nourishing real plant-based food, making lifestyle shifts (for me, using oils and other holistic support), going to therapy (if desired), exploring alternative approaches… does not require a vestibular migraine (or other vestibular something) diagnosis.  It just requires the longing to feel better. 
 
In my case, I had been vegan for many years prior to getting hit with vestibular neuritis.  I lead what I would consider to be a pretty healthy life.  I later learned that even within my perception there was much room for learning and growth.  For a period of six months (that first year) I cut out sugar, gluten, processed foods, all keeping within my plant-based framework.  I used many supplements, pure essential oils and CBD.  I went and got craniosacral and chiropractic work each week, meditated, did yoga, pleaded with the universe… but it wasn’t a complete cure.  It got me 90% of the way there, which is pretty freaking amazing when I started out being overwhelmed with symptoms 24/7 for over a year.  When I finally did get my diagnosis, the only change was that a neurologist prescribed me medication.
 
In my opinion, health is not simply a destination. 
 
I started using the word “recovered” because most days I feel wonderful and as if the vestibular whirlwind never happened.  But creating my health is a daily project.  I’d never say, “I recovered from vestibular migraines and now I can eat like crap, forget my holistic wellness routines and just move on”.  That’s absolutely not the truth.  Health comes through all the choices I make every single day.  And it’s fun and empowering, and the journey to uncover the root cause continues (my why for diving into Medical Medium).
 
We have the power to create (and recreate as needed) our health.  Our experiences are not identical and that’s because the underlying cause of our vestibular somethings is not identical (although may be very similar).  If you don’t like how you feel today, then know that you can make a change.  It won’t always be easy, but look at it as an opportunity. 
 
An occasion to be much more than just a vestibular something label. 
 
A chance create your wellness and be you.

Hi there!

Oh man do I have a lot to say this month.  Mostly because I'm just so darn excited to share it with you and I feel like I'm onto something.  My soul is radiating the vibes of healingggg.  If you're new here, be sure to visit my FAQ page and the Vestibular Warrior Wellness Hub to get a glimpse of my journey with a vestibular condition (vestibular neuritis + vestibular migraines) and beyond, but then come back here!  I'm so happy to connect with you.

This month has been good; although, I feel like I have a bit more to report on the migraine-preventive (amitriptyline) weaning process.  I'm down by a third of my original medication dosage and I'm so happy with how my body is responding.  I did have a few days of feeling off and it was a sign to me to be really kind to myself, lots of plant-based eats, celery juicing (started this month!), cleansing supplements (I use doTERRA + started HUM Nutrition this month), pure plant oils, move + mediate workouts and CBD (non-psychoactive) for support.  I'm feeling really good.  It's awesome to see that listening to my body and responding accordingly with my toolkit is powerful.  Nothing like putting my toolkit to work!

[visit here to read all posts on my experience with weaning off migraine-preventive medication]

This month I've been diving into Medical Medium protocols.  I had read one of his book's during the first year with my vestibular something, and most of the foods promoted are a part of my vestibular migraine diet plan.  I saw he had a podcast episode on healing migraines and it struck me as something I wanted to revisit (listen to the episode here).  In short, the mindset is that a virus is at the heart of vestibular migraines.  Honestly this hits home for me, especially because my story involves vestibular neuritis which triggered vestibular migraines.  

My mission has always been to heal from the inside out.  I believe that my body (and yours by the way!) is meant to find its blissful balance, but environment, stress, toxins and lifestyle can throw things out of whack.  Especially as I'm weaning off my medication, I want to get to the root cause more than ever.  I'm so thankful to feel how I do today.  There was a time when my symptoms were 24/7 for months and months on end, so in comparison to that I'm on cloud nine.  That being said, even though I've recovered my wellness, I want to be free from the vestibular stuff.  And once I find that freedom, I want to help other Vestibular Warriors do the same.  Actually, my mission is to help other Vestibular Warriors every step of the way (my why for writing my book Uncovering Bliss: A Journey with a Vestibular Condition and Beyond).

Some Medical Medium basics on an anti-viral diet include cutting gluten, dairy, eggs, white sugar and processed foods.  I've embraced a vegan diet since 2009, and it changed my life, so animal products are not a part of my diet.  But I have a sweet tooth and if you follow me on Instagram you've probably noticed.  So my biggest shift is staying away from white sugar and processed foods (even vegan ones).  This doesn't mean forever but I recognize that in times of deep healing it's important, and so often necessary.

Bring on the celery juice!  If you Google "Medical Medium celery juice" you're bound to come up with a heck of a lot of information.  This article is a good starting point.  I'm jumping on board with this and I'm excited to see where it takes me.  I've been starting my day with either celery juice or cucumber juice, and then having a sweet smoothie to soothe my cravings.  The recipe posted below is from Oh She Glows second cookbook and it includes a banana, dates, cacao, hemp seeds...and it's freaking delicious.  

While a nourishing diet is my driving force, I absolutely turn to other things for beautiful support.  Particularly this month I've refined my plan.  I took a slightly bigger jump in decreasing my medicine dosage and that made me pinpoint exactly where I needed a bit of self-care.  Here are other things that have been making a splash:

Pure plant essential oils- no surprise here, but the Balance blend has been my BFF.  You can guarantee that if you're near me you'll be smelling these oils (which make up Balance): Spruce Leaf, Ho Wood Leaf, Frankincense Resin, Blue Tansy Flower, Blue Chamomile Flower, and Osmanthus Flower essential oils in a base of Fractionated Coconut Oil. [oils routine for Vestibular Warriors here]

Kait Hurley move + meditation workouts- movement for me is a must.  If I feel a sway or glitch (as I call it) or a spike in anxiety, I know it's time to get moving.  I always feel better afterwards, without fail.  These workouts are about sweating and then meditating, and it feels glorious.  When I started these workouts 15 months in with my vestibular something, I would wobble through every move.  I started with the restorative workouts and then worked my way up.  They are definitely an obsession of mine, so much so that I talk about them in the chapter on anxiety in my book.

CBD fruit chews (250mg)- Living in Seattle I feel like I have a lot of accessibility to CBD, but this wasn't the case when I was back east.  I was ordering CBD online and now I can go to the stores.  I've tried a variety of CBD forms (creams, vape, tinctures) and this month I got a package of fruit chews for my birthday and I love them.  I tend to eat one before bed and I can feel the calm set in and it's a beautiful thing.  I had a day with migraine pain and I came home and ate one of the chews and my pain went down, and almost disappeared.  I was really impressed.  That being said, you have to know the quality of what you're putting in your body.  There's a bunch of junk out there...and that's for another discussion.

Meditation- Dr. Joe Dispenza and Elizabeth Stanley, PhD are my inspiration right now.  I listened to Elizabeth on Jessica Murnane's podcast (listen here) and it's a really powerful episode on trauma, which so many of us that have journeyed with a vestibular something can relate too.  And most of us have experienced some sort of trauma throughout our lives.  The more I meditate, the more I crave it.  

I hope that gives you a look into what healing vestibular migraines looks like for me.  Be sure to check out the latest on Vestibular Warrior YouTube as well.

Talk to you next month!
-Em

Hi out there.

Woah I've been blogging a bit over the holiday break.  It feels good to write.  My mission over the next few months is to finish up my holistic nutritionist certificate so I'll be buried in books.

Another month has passed by and it's time for me to check in on the process of weaning off my migraine-preventive medication (amitriptyline).  If you're just jumping in, visit my initial post, month one and month two.  Also, I recommend reading the book Heal Your Headache to gain a better understanding of the migraine-preventive medication often offered to those struggling with migraines (vestibular migraines in my case) and why.  

Although it's happily been an uneventful month as I slowlyyy wean off the medication, I think the emotional component is something that I'll slowly need to work through.  The medication has been a security blanket sort of speak.  At 21 months in with the vestibular stuff I started the medicine to tackle the spontaneous attacks that would happen.  As I've mentioned in the past, in my mind I was 90% better at that time, but the random vestibular migraine attacks were crushing my soul.  I'd be riding high at my 90% better, so thankful for the progress I'd made, and then BAM- the symptoms (see below) would reappear and intensify.  The first 18ish months had been constant symptoms (with great improvement over that time) so the feeling associated with each of these attacks was deep and it hurt.

As someone who believes in the power of holistic wellness with all my heart, going on a medication for migraines was a big decision.  It's one I discuss more in my book.

As I've reduced my dosage this month, I've been keeping up with my holistic support (full routine here).  I'll give you a glimpse of what my days (with my natural toolkit of oils) looks like as well as some of the other blissful things that fuel my soul.  It has provided me peace of mind as I reduce the dosage, using oils to support my mind & body as well as following my vestibular migraine diet plan.  Although, with the holidays I've certainly indulged in plenty of chocolate.  Chocolate (vegan) has never been an issue for me and for that I'm thankful.  Coffee on the other hand has certainly not always been a friend of mine.

Ok, onto the holistic goodness! [visit my favorite oils for Vestibular Warriors to get yours]

ADAPTIV OIL BLEND:
-I apply this blend on my wrists and back of my neck throughout the day, and it smells dreamy!
-WHY: the oils' properties help boost mood, assist in centering, increase feelings of tranquility, soothe and uplift, and reduce feeling of anxiousness and tension

COPAIBA OIL: 
-I take a few drops of this oil in a veggie capsule morning and night (or use the softgels); I also will apply this oil to my temples if I feel any migraine pain trying to break through
-WHY: the oil's properties support the health of the cardiovascular, immune, and digestive systems when ingested, powerful antioxidant benefits when taken internally, internal use helps calm, soothe, and support the nervous system, and it promotes clear, smooth skin and reduces the appearance of blemishes

PEPPERMINT OIL:
-I apply this oil on my temples and dab underneath my nose to wake up in the morning.  I'll also apply it to my temples throughout the day, as needed.
-WHY: It is cooling and soothing and its properties combat migraines.  Woohoo.

And I talk all about the supplements I take in my Vestibular Warrior e-book and on this page.

I've been starting my days with a matcha latte which is pure fuel for my soul.  I've been using Good Mylk Ceremonial Matcha Latte powder + oat milk.  I confess that I have quite a love for going to coffee shops on my work lunch hour and treating myself to a matcha latte, but my goal is to make them more at home.  I think my wallet will appreciate the effort.  I try to make green juice (this recipe) during the workweek and drink that before the latte or midday.  It's a way for me to get a punch of goodness.

So the fear piece- weaning off the medicine means that I really need to be in touch with triggers.  The medicine took me from 90% to 100% most days, and I've had very minimal vestibular symptoms the last 1.5 years.  I do get migraine pain here and there, but the vestibular storm has been quite quiet.  Man that's a beautiful thing to be able to say.  In no way am I looking to disrupt that.  I want to do what is best for my wellness and ultimately I do not want to rely on a medication for life.  I want to figure this out.  As I write this I very much feel like I'm confessing something to a journal, so I hope it comes through the emotion I have wrapped up in this decision.

I don't have any set plan for what officially getting completely off the medication will look like.  I'm going with the flow and reducing by no more than 5mg each month.  Of course we're all different, so check in with your doctor before making any changes.  There's a variety of migraine medications/dosages and our bodies react in different ways.  I wish I knew exactly what it will look like, but that's impossible, so my plan is to be intentional with my wellness routine, listen to my body and keep plugging through it. 

Onto another month!  Also, a new episode is up on the Bliss Out Vibes podcast.  It's about time, right?
​
​-Em

Hey Vestibular Warrior.

I've been thinking about the vibe I want to bring into the New Year.  I like that approach more than setting any exact resolution/goal; although, I do have things on my mind.  But just setting the tone for myself and the energy I want to carry into 2020 is powerful.  Living with vestibular somethings, we often do not know what the next day (or moment) will bring.  For me it's been monumental in my life finding my calm in chaos and realizing that the light that will guide me through the ups and downs is within me; it's within my power to create my glowing wellness.  Further, that means that I am responsible for taking ownership of my health.  

That's a lot to take on when you're journeying with a vestibular condition which creates a general feeling of powerlessness.  I know that feeling intimately and it used to be the energy that felt soul-crushing.  I was reacting to every symptom, every emotion, every doctor's appointment, every sway/floaty feeling/glitch... you understand.  

As we turn the corner into a brand new year, my mission is to continue to create my wellness.  It's one thing to say it and another battle to actually follow through.  I thought I'd share the pieces of bliss I'm taking into 2020, and I hope it gets you thinking what vibe you want to take with you.  After all, while we do not have control over every detail of life, we do have a choice in how we approach it.

What brings you happiness?  What makes your heart happy?  What makes your soul sigh relief at the knowledge that there is so much beauty in this world?  This may be something you really have to meditate on.  When my symptoms were storming my system and I felt like I didn't have a moment of relief, stopping to smell the roses was just not part of my schedule.  I was in pure survival mode.

However, something I've realized as I've healed from vestibular neuritis and took control of vestibular migraines, is that uncovering bliss daily is a must.  Taking pure pleasure in the small moments that make up this life is not only essential to healing, but a component of what makes up this life.  It's the secret that should be screamed.  Here are some examples from my life, so you can think on your bliss.

-Interacting with my boys and getting a glimpse of life through their eyes
-Walking the streets of Seattle with a matcha latte and listening to my favorite music playlist
-Dying my hair pink and feeling comfortable in my own skin... even with the occasional sway, migraine or other symptom; always grateful for the progress I've made
-Hearing from a fellow Vestibular Warrior that my book was a light in their day

The key was finding bliss before I was through my vestibular something.  I honestly don't know if I'll ever be completely through it, but I refuse to not find the bliss in this life as I journey along.

This is the game changer.  This is the one that changed my world.  For 21 months I didn't have a solid diagnosis.  I had self-diagnosed myself with vestibular neuritis the first year and it wasn't until that one-year mark that I started to piece together the vestibular migraine component.  I didn't have a doctor that had provided me any guidance on diagnosis.  I was working with a chiropractor that specialized in craniosacral work and another that was a holistic nutritionist.  My mission was to heal from the inside out and I decided I didn't need a label for my vestibular something in order to do that. 

Where can your mindset shift your reality?  I think this is a question we can ask ourselves most days.  It's sort of the glass half-full or half-empty conversation.  It rings true though that our mindset creates our reality.  That's why I call us Vestibular Warriors because it's empowering.  It demonstrates our strength and resilience.  

A goal of mine this year is to wean off my migraine-preventive medication.  Of course I have fear wrapped up in that.  But what if I just look at it as an opportunity to get to know myself better?  To better pay attention to my body speaking to me.  When I need extra support, I'll turn to diet, oils, movement + meditation, the support of vestibular warriors and most importantly my mindset and how it will guide me every step of the way.

When I was in the worst of the storm with my vestibular something, there was a lot of emotion and trauma that I just couldn't process in the moment.  It's only in looking back over the journey that I see clearer how I was trudging through the motions.  Sometimes when you're trudging, it's hard to really feel how an experience is shaping you.  That was certainly the case for me.  Around two years in I started to find a grounded state.  I felt my soul coming back to life and at that point I was finally ready to start opening up about the experience.  That inspired my creation of Bliss Out, the Vestibular Warrior YouTube channel and ultimately was my fuel to write my book Uncovering Bliss unfolding my journey.

I say all this to encourage you to process the emotional component of your vestibular something. 

​Maybe that means sitting in a meditation even when you feel like you're floating away.

Maybe it means opening up to someone (even if just a journal) about your vestibular something and how it makes you feel.

Maybe it means taking part is some sort of therapy (so many kinds out there!) and doing something for you.

My whole purpose and the driving force behind everything I share is that I don't want another Vestibular Warrior to feel alone.  I want to spread hope and resilience.  I want other Vestibular Warriors to know that this community understands your fears, your heartbreak and pain, but this community also will inspire you to rise up regardless of everything your vestibular something has thrown at you.  Listen to this song and then come back to this post.

I run Vestibular Warrior on Facebook which is all about holistic support & mindset to thrive with our vestibular somethings and beyond.  I'd love to connect with you.

In the next few months I'll be finishing up my holistic nutrition studies and will be able to call myself a Holistic Nutritionist.  The process of jumping back into studying has been as a gift to myself.  I believe that food is meant to heal our minds & bodies and help us find our balanced state.  In my experience it hasn't been the entire piece of recovering my wellness, but it plays an important role.  Embracing a plant-based diet a decade ago changed my life.  I literally felt negativity fall away from my essence as I learned to love my body.  Also, because I am working on getting off my migraine medication (that I started 21 months in to break the cycle), I know that diet will be ultra important and I plan to keep within my Vestibular Migraine Diet (vegan-friendly version).  

The quickest way to change how you feel about yourself is to look at how you're feeding your body and soul.  I think it's commonly the last piece we look at to shift our wellness when it should be the very first piece.  

I hope that you resonate with this post and I'd love to hear your thoughts.  I wish you all the best on your wellness journey as we dance into 2020.

Sending good vibes your way.
​
-Em

As we embark on another year, I've been thinking about what I want most for this space in the next year.  My mission continues to be to provide Vestibular Warriors with a holistic toolkit to own their wellness.  Vestibular conditions have the ability to make us feel entirely powerless; therefore, this space is meant to do the exact opposite.  I want to empower you to create your wellness and give you the resources to thrive.  I've been journeying with the vestibular stuff for the last three+ years and I've gone from sinking in constant overwhelming symptoms to experiencing symptoms quite minimally, with most days being symptom-free.

I'm so damn grateful for that.  Gratitude does not even express how I feel about the fact that most days I live in a balanced grounded state.  

There was a time that I didn’t talk about my vestibular something, and now I can’t shut up about it.  I wrote Uncovering Bliss: A Journey with a Vestibular Condition & Beyond to provide love and light to other Vestibular Warriors.  It's an honest account of what it felt like to be in the midst of a vestibular condition.  I want others to know they are not alone in the storm.  I know it made a difference in my life when I was trudging through the darkness, symptoms attacking my mind and body, having people like you who just understood how it felt.

As I think back over the last three+ years and my journey with vestibular neuritis and vestibular migraines, I thought it would be helpful to share a few things that have helped me most in the storm.  In particular, I want to share things that I had power over.  Of course this is such a personal journey so what helps me might not be the ticket for you, but I think that these things can provide a Vestibular Warrior the opportunity to feel better, while elevating wellness.

These days my objective is to not have a vestibular migraine attack. At one point when I was in the darkness of 24/7 symptoms, my goal was to get through the day with as few bumps as possible. The first year I could not make sense of the vestibular neuritis symptoms vs. vestibular migraine attacks.  It was soul-crushing chaos.  I was in my version of survival mode at that time.  When I was at my beginning, all I wanted was to hear stories of people breaking through the vestibular symptom chaos. It's still something that fills my heart up and I know that I have to put my wellness as a top priority to stay on top of VM, rather than sinking beneath it.

If you're interested in learning more about my journey, I encourage you to visit my Most Frequently Asked Questions page.

​And now let's jump into the goodness!  Note that the things I discuss are still a large part of my wellness routine.

The physical therapist I saw in the first few months after it hit was the first person to say the words "vestibular neuritis" to me. She actually mentioned labyrinthitis first and I put the pieces together that I most likely had vestibular neuritis (which involves no hearing changes). In the early weeks upon Googling my symptoms I landed on a number of YouTube videos of people performing exercises to basically retrain their bodies after a vestibular condition hit. Similar exercises were given to me from my physical therapist. Although I could act normal on the outside, inside I felt insanely off kilter, unbalanced, disconnected from my body and as if I was floating- always floating.

Looking back I can very clearly see that the fact that I pushed through my normal life from the beginning (minus the first week) helped me tremendously. It saved me on many levels. Going through life became my own personal version of VRT. In my case it was super intense going through the motions of my life (going to work, grocery shopping, going out in the world, keeping up with my baby and toddler).

​It felt awful. I need a new word for awful because it felt impossible every moment for months and months until it started to get easier. Without knowing it, I was helping my body learn to move again in the world and find a balanced state. I think many do this with vestibular therapy and that's why I mention it. My real life of version of vestibular therapy every moment of every day was my ticket to finding my balance once again; although, at that time I was in pure survival mode.

[I talk a lot more about journeying with my vestibular condition, healing and eventually thriving on YouTube (Vestibular Warrior channel)]

If you have a diagnosis, that's awesome. Congrats.  If you don't, I'm sending love and light your way and I know how that goes. I self diagnosed myself long before a doctor slapped a label on my vestibular condition (21 months in by the way). The first neurologist that I saw offered me no answers. The internet was more helpful, but that only increased my panic. As time went on, I cared less about the fact that I didn't have a diagnosis and more about healing. I just wanted to find myself in the storm of my vestibular something.

Because I didn't have a diagnosis, my goal from the start was just to help my body heal and find its natural grounded state.  The first thing I looked at was my diet.  November marked my 10-year anniversary of embracing a vegan diet and it has been such an incredible gift in my life.  That being said, I had a lot to learn when it came to the Migraine Diet and how it could help me. 

The first thing that I did was read Heal Your Headache (and I think you should too!) which gave me a base knowledge on the why/what of the Migraine Diet.  The book talks about common food triggers for migraine sufferers and how food can push us over our threshold, which plays a part in why we have episodes/attacks (whatever you like to call them).

I was very open to giving diet shifts a whirl because it was something I could control, and I'm a fan of that.  The trick was making it work within my plant-based framework.  At twenty-one years old, a vegan diet changed my life in a really big way.  It released my mind and body of so much negativity and quite literally gave me my glow.  It helped me uncover myself and learn to look at my body with love.  A decade later and in the throes of a heaving vestibular something, I did not want to break vegan; although, it was something I considered (I talk more about that in my book).  Ultimately I knew that saying goodbye to vegan was not the answer.

The below is the diet I followed strictly for a period of six months.  I still stick to it for the most part, but I admit chocolate does make an almost daily appearance these days.

I was not supplementing consistently when my vestibular something hit. I wanted to help my body on a deeper level, so I started doing my research. I was introduced to the doTERRA Lifelong Vitality Pack and after reading about the properties/goal of the supplements, I jumped on board. I have been taking these supplements [the vegan version] for the last three+ years and I probably will my entire life. I talk about these three supplements in depth in my Vestibular Warrior e-book, but I've included the basic details below.

You can get these supplements: here.  

Alpha CRS+ Cellular Vitality Complex: contains powerful polyphenols that protect cells from free radicals that can damage cellular DNA, mitochondria, and other critical cell structures [Note on POLYPHENOLS: A class of antioxidant molecules that provide numerous longevity health benefits including powerful antioxidant protection against free-radical damage to cellular DNA, mitochondria, and other critical cell structures.]

vEO Mega: Provides a unique blend of essential fatty acids that are so important to our diet but delivers them from plant and algae-based sources. A single daily dose of vEO Mega provides 1,200 mg of botanical omegas with 555 mg of ALA from flax seed oil and Incha Inchi oil, 100 mg of DHA from algae, 20 mg of GLA from borage oil, and a varied blend of other plant-sourced essential fatty acids.

Microplex VMz: A balanced formula of essential vitamins and bioavailable minerals carefully formulated to provide optimal levels of key micronutrients that support energy and immune functions.

OVERVIEW:

​The do-TERRA® Lifelong Vitality Program includes these antioxidant and energy cofactors:

-Acetyl-L-Carnitine: Helps shuttle fatty acids into mitochondria for energy production
-Alpha Lipoic Acid: Supports the production of ATP and acts as a powerful antioxidant in mitochondria
-Coenzyme Q10: Important coenzyme for energy production; supports heart health
-Quercetin: Provides powerful polyphenol antioxidant protection in mitochondria and other cell structures
-Resveratrol: Polyphenol found in red wine; supports healthy mitochonodrial biogenesis
-Vitamins and Minerals: Essential cofactors of energy production in cells
-Essential Fatty Acids: Required for cell growth; supports healthy cellular function

I also added in a high-quality probiotic supplement for gut health.  The majority of our immune system resides in the gut and I knew mine needed a heck of a lot of love.  I take PB Assist+ and recommend it to all Vestibular Warriors.

PB Assist+: a proprietary formula of pre-biotic fiber and six strains of probiotic microorganisms in a unique doublelayer vegetable capsule. It delivers 6 billion CFUs of active probiotic cultures and soluble pre-biotic FOS (fructooligosaccharides) that encourage friendly bacterial growth.

I talk a lot about oils around here!  I use Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade essential oils as a part of my pro-active natural treatment and they are a source of light in my life.  I also share my favorite oils for Vestibular Warriors as well as my go-to routine if symptoms heighten.  I started using pure plant oils a month into the vestibular stuff and I had absolutely no clue what I was doing, but I wanted holistic support.  I was receiving no help from doctors and I wanted to feel like I was doing something to elevate my wellness and support my body in healing.  A dear friend helped me get set up with oils and I never looked back.  They continue to be my main natural toolkit to support my health each and every day.  

I didn't embrace exercise until around a year in.  At that time, I believe I had healed mostly from vestibular neuritis, but was stuck in a cycle of vestibular migraines.  I felt ready to help my body find ground with movement and I was ready to take the step into exercise.  I started slowww.  In my book I talk about discovering Kait Hurley's move + meditate workouts.  I had never meditated before and yoga was also relatively new to me.  I felt so unstable when I started the workouts but over days, weeks and months I started to find ground within my body and gain strength.  It was empowering and it was around this time (15 months in) that I started to feel like I was coming back to life.  I certainly had more progress to make, but I was making strides because of these workouts and it felt fantastic.

I started running again 19 months in and it truly brought me back to life.  It built the confidence that had been dampened along the way.  I still love to run, but prefer more yoga-type workouts these days.

I share these things because they were within my control and that alone gave me some relief.  I had the power to make strides in my wellness.  There are absolutely other things that helped along the way (connecting with others, mindset, craniosacral + chiropractic work, foam rolling, and later a migraine medication (which was the hammer to finish the job)- visit the Vestibular Warrior Wellness Hub for more holistic goodness), but my life "VRT", nourishing diet, oils and supplements were an important step in my healing.  They continue to be a driver in my glowing wellness.

I hope that you found this post helpful and if you have any questions please feel free to reach out.

-Em

Hi there!

I found that when I was journeying along with my vestibular something (vestibular neuritis + vestibular migraines), it was one thing to slap a label on it, and a completely other thing to truly talk about how it felt. It was easy for a doctor to tell me I was experiencing dizziness, but that wasn't a fair description of it. I felt like I was floating 24/7 and that my world was off-kilter for months and months. Dizziness hardly summed up the complexity of how it felt.

Below I share several symptoms of vestibular migraines, but of course there are others. Our experiences may not be identical, but often there is great resemblance. I hope that my honest account provides a light for others journeying with vestibular migraines, trying to make sense of their symptoms.

Something I want to note is that my symptoms sort of evolved over time. The first year my symptoms were 24/7 and it was hard to make sense of the vestibular neuritis symptoms vs. vestibular migraine attacks. However, after the first year I had a better sense of the ups and downs, and attacks (or regressions as I called them) became much more clear. The symptoms were never identical from one attack to the next. For example, I never got extremely nauseous in the beginning; however, my last attack in July (which passed within hours, so grateful for that!), nausea/vomiting was a part of that episode. Lovely, I know. I point this out just to showcase that symptoms were not always consistent. What I discuss below is an array of the symptoms that I experienced over the course of eighteen months.

I discuss these symptoms from VEDA's website.  The full article can be read here. 

DISSOCIATIVE SYMPTOMS- this was my biggest symptom and the worst; it included derealization (disconnected from my environment) and depersonalization (disconnected from my body)

ANXIETY/PANIC- this spike was often my telltale sign of what was to follow

LIGHTHEADEDNESS- feeling like I might faint (this is a symptoms I experienced throughout my twenties along with derealization)

PHOTOPHOBIA- sensitivity to light or intolerance of light

VERTIGO- feeling like my world was spinning even though I was still

VISUAL ISSUES / DIMINISHED EYE FOCUS- difficulty focusing my eyes and my world appearing skewed (although I could completely see)

SPACIAL DISORIENTATION- suddenly needing to make sense of where I was; feeling unaware of my body's position

NAUSEA- this symptom made an appearance at times making me lose my appetite (and on a few occasions get sick)
​
NECK PAIN- this would often happen before other symptoms showed up; turning my neck would become difficult and painful to the touch

I talk all about what derealization/depersonalization felt like in the below video.  It was as if I was living behind a window (read this blog post).  It was my worst symptom and the one that I felt kept me hostage to my vestibular condition.  

The anxiety that came with my vestibular condition was a beast that could not be ignored.  In Uncovering Bliss, I write: "​The anxiety that came with my vestibular condition could, and often did, bring me to my knees. Crumbling on my bedroom floor because it felt so heavy. I’d succumb to a pile on the ground. It was a physical anxiety that felt like it was swimming in my veins. It was animal and rarely felt connected to my mental state. The initial event had set it free in my system. Anxiety isn’t even the correct word for it... It was much more a fight-or-flight feeling that was so intense it felt like a tight sweater glued to my body that I couldn’t rip off."

Doctors would easily brush the condition of as simply anxiety, but I'd push back.  No way this was just anxiety- there was much more to it.

You know that feeling of being close to passing out?  That's exactly how this symptom felt.  Oddly I did faint a few times in my twenties and looking back I think I was experiencing a silent migraine, but at the time I couldn't make sense of it.  This symptom is certainly disconcerting 

I think I'll forever hate the lights in big box stores.  I remember the first time I went to Target after it all hit and it felt near impossible to move about the store.  As if the lights were trying to hurt me.  Their brightness was overwhelming and my body was screaming "stop!!!".  

I spent a long while working with the lights off in my office and now I wear blue light blocking glasses (I love these ones) whenever I'm under florescent lights.  The glasses make it so my eyes can relax a bit...and they're cute, so that helps (kidding).  

Vertigo is feeling off balanced, like you're spinning or your world is spinning.  As I mentioned, the first year my symptoms were constant, so nothing felt spontaneous.  It was a blur of dizzy awfulness.  However, as I was climbing to the 18-month mark and I was really improving, I very much could feel the ups and downs that came with episodes.  I have a memory of various attacks when vertigo hit out-of-the-blue.  In one attack which I detail in Uncovering Bliss, I climbed into my bed with my winter coat and boats still on as my world spun.  I wished closing my eyes made it all go away, but unfortunately it did not.  The spinning was intense and anyone who has dealt with it knows that it's miserable.   

After the initial event of vestibular neuritis hitting, my eyes went sideways.  That makes no sense to read, but it's absolutely how it felt.  In the first few days I was whipping my head back and forth as if to shake it off.  My eyes stopping focusing like they used to.  Focusing my eyes, something that I never thought about previously became something I had to give a concerted effort to make happen.  Also, my world felt skewed and this was something that improved over time.  This goes along with the whole viewing my life through a window thing.  The time came when I started to see a crack in the window and it was miraculous.  Then the window would shut and I'd be back behind it in my skewed world.  I'm sure if you've deal with a vestibular something you understand what I'm saying.

An example of this is me being somewhere that's familiar and suddenly feeling like I had to gauge my surroundings to better understand where I was.  As if things had moved and I wasn't exactly sure where I stood.  I remember turning around in a circle trying to gather my surroundings.  It's a bizarre feeling.

This one is pretty self explanatory.  Nausea and vomiting are miserable for anyone to experience, but add the other vestibular symptoms into the mix and it became the least of my worries at times.  I only actually got sick a few times, but the nausea certainly made a presence.  In the early days with the vestibular stuff it impacted my appetite.  I was drinking a lot of smoothies to fuel my body.

My neck would get stiff and often it would become difficult and painful to turn my head.  Sometimes this symptom would hit before the others as a warning of what was to come.  On many occasions you could find me lying on my foam roller, trying to get some mobility back.  It would often take days to get better.

Hi hi!

This is a fun post to write.  I'm basically just telling you a few of the wonderful things that make a difference in my life with vestibular migraines.  Three years ago my symptoms were 24/7 and now I rarely deal with symptoms, which I'm beyond grateful for.  It's been a journey!  My mission these days is to do everything I can to elevate my wellness and feel my best.  It's about being proactive with my health rather than reactive.  That's what these gifts are all about.  Feeling empowered when it comes to wellness is the heart + soul of Bliss Out.

I hope you enjoy these gifts and I'd love to hear if you gift any of this items to yourself (that's a beautiful self-love gift!) or if you ask a loved one to purchase a gift for you.  Let's keep spreading the goodness!

This oils trio is first on my list because I believe giving the gift of wellness support is a happy one!  I started using this trio back in November when it was released and I'm so excited about it for Vestibular Warriors.  It is beautiful all-around mind & body support.  Not only is this a gift of holistic support, it's also a happy introduction into the world of certified pure therapeutic grade oils.  I embraced the oils life back in the fall of 2016 when I was sinking deep in the vestibular stuff.  It was such a positive outlet for me, and I love sharing this gift with others.  

I've linked each of the gifts below.  My mission is to create a little happiness with these gifts.  Here's the scene:

You're in a cozy chair with your Rasa on the side table in your mug keeping it hot, and a good book in your hands.  I'd love if it were my new book because it's a gift for all vestibular warriors.  It's a piece of love and light.  You've got your blue light blocking glasses on and the Adaptiv oil blend on your wrists [all things calming + combats anxiety].  You've got oils diffusing creating your happy environment and cleansing the air around you.  Lastly, you've got something delicious cooking (from the Oh She Glows cookbook) that will fuel your body in a blissful way.

How does that scene sound?  

Thank you for the love and support, and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!

-Em

OTHER RESOURCES:

Get Em's book: Uncovering Bliss: A Journey with a Vestibular Condition & Beyond
​Vestibular Warrior Wellness Hub + Resources
YouTube Videos [Vestibular Warrior]
Oils Routine for Vestibular Warriors
​Em's Routine When Symptoms Heighten
​Migraine Vegan Diet
Bliss Out Vibes Podcast for Vestibular Warriors
​Contact Em

Hi there.  I'm assuming because you're reading this post that you're very likely journeying with a vestibular condition, and therefore you understand parts of me immediately... because, well, you just get what it's like.

On October 31, 2016, my vestibular something hit.  I thought it was a cold virus that would pass.  I thought I'd sleep it off.  Twenty-four hours later my symptoms had only intensified to the point that walking felt near impossible and the deep rooted fear was coursing my system like fire.  After going to multiple doctor appointments and receiving no concrete answers, guess what my next step was to find answers...

You got it.  I started Googling my symptoms.  I found a lot of really helpful information [especially on VEDA], but I also wanted to hear from someone in my shoes.  I wanted to talk to someone who had been in the darkness and tell me they had made it through.  I wanted to have a heart-to-heart, so I could find some relief in my fear.

In time I found that support groups existed on Facebook for people with a vestibular something and it meant the world to me (I now run Vestibular Warrior).  I also couldn't believe that there were so many other people in the darkness that I was navigating.  I had thought that I was alone...

​I posted the below in a support group back in July 2017 searching for what my soul needed to hear... and I connected with incredible Vestibular Warriors who took the time to share their stories and help me piece together mine.  I was lost.  I had so many questions...

Recently, someone told me that they were in awe of how "together" I was about my vestibular migraine stuff.  I laughed and could have hugged that person. 

I had to unravel to rebuilt the pieces of myself.  I went the better part of year feeling like I was floating away...a solid 18 months living behind my window [derealization/dissociative symptoms] and longer with the unease and fight-or-flight mode that my vestibular something instilled.

The experience with vestibular neuritis + vestibular migraines took away every comfort in my inner being.  If you're living with a vestibular something, I know you understand.  I looked in the mirror at a woman I didn't recognize and I trudged through life in a body that I desperately wanted to feel connected to.

Around two years in I was finding myself in a grounded body.  I felt like I had come back to life.  The experience had been earthshaking and I knew I couldn't be silent about it.  I knew from being in the darkness that there were so many others needing to find their light.  I knew that there were so many looking to be understood.

And so I started writing.

​It started with creating Bliss Out, this wellness space, in December 2018, and sharing more about my experience in blog posts.  

My next step was compiling the holistic support that had been a huge part of my healing in the Vestibular Warrior Wellness Hub.

Then I started talking about my experience on YouTube (Vestibular Warrior channel).  

But I had more to say and my heart and soul felt like it was still processing the experience.  So earlier this year, I started writing my book and just let the words flow...I'd write and then put it away for weeks, and then bring it back when I felt ready.

Ultimately, I wanted to create what I so badly needed when I was in the throes of vestibular symptom hell, relentlessly trudging.  I wanted to share my feelings and what the symptoms felt like.  I wanted to showcase the corners of my mind and the thoughts that danced in my head.  I wanted to show a journey through the dark and finding the light.

So my mission with Uncovering Bliss is to expose the mind and body experience and tell my story because if someone out there is trudging along needing a friend on the trail, they can turn to my book.  Or maybe my book can be a tool to give to friends/family so they have a better idea what it feels like for their loved one. 

I was at a loss for words when I was in the messy middle.  The words that flow so easily for me now just didn't exist in the chaotic storm.  It was beautifully therapeutic to write my book and so it's a gift to myself as well.  A way to release what's been on my heart and soul and hopefully help others do the same.

​Thank you for your support and kindness.  It means so much to me.

Hi out there!

I'm back, and with pink hair.  I finally dyed it the color I wanted when I was 16.  Only took me close to 17 years.  

We just put up our Christmas tree and I'm sitting on the couch beneath the lights.  It was just around this time last year when I created Bliss Out... I've got David Gray "This Year's Love" playing in my headphones.  The first time I heard the song was while watching Dawson's Creek close to 15 years ago.  I used to only buy soundracks.  If I liked a movie or a show, I'd go search out the soundtrack.  Don't worry, I've evolved...a bit.  I've compiled a list of many of my favorite songs (right now) on Spotify (search Bliss Out by Emily Englert).  

Anyways- I swear I didn't pop in to just ramble.  For starters, I'm really here with a very happy update. 

I'm here to announce the release of my book. YAYYYY!!!  It's called Uncovering Bliss: A Journey with a Vestibular Condition and Beyond.  I started writing it close to a year ago and then put it down for a while during the move to Seattle.  In the last few months I jumped back in with my heart and soul finishing it up.  I was in a beautiful place to reflect on the last three+ years and what that chapter of my life means to me.  My mission is to bring a voice to the mind & body experience of a vestibular condition and expose the thoughts and feelings that decorated my journey.  It was so difficult to explain what it felt like in the moment and it's only in retrospect that it's been much easier.  If someone is in the beginning or messy middle with a vestibular something, I want them to have a friend on the trail.  

It's available in e-book and softcover format, and I so appreciate your inspiration and support.  

And now let's talk about month two of weaning off my migraine-preventive medicine.  This is a topic I touch on in my book.  I think it's important to expose the story and the why behind my decision to try a migraine medication.  It's such a personal journey, but I know it's one so many of us travel.  If you're new, I encourage you to read my first post and on month one, and then come back here.

Well, it has been an uneventful month as far as decreasing my medication dosage.  Boy am I grateful for that!  I'm taking it slow and I'm not quite sure how long the process will take, but my guess is the better part of a year.  My mission is to take it slowww and steady.  To let my body acclimate with each shift and provide beautiful holistic support every step of the way.

I've been keeping up with the routine I started from the beginning:

I was so tempted to have coffee over the Thanksgiving holiday.  I was feeling so good and really thought about it.  But then I remember the VM attack I had post downing of a cold brew coffee in July and I convinced myself that it was not worth the dreamy cup of joe.  I proceeded to order myself Rasa on Black Friday because there was a happy deal and oh how I love the cacao flavor.

I've honestly been feeling really awesome this month.  I had a few nights of head pain, but nothing oils, chugging water, some heat and sleep didn't kick.  As we jump into December, I plan to dive more into move + meditate workouts each morning.  I mean I have no excuse... the Christmas tree lights are glowing and I couldn't ask for a better personal yoga studio by the tree ;)

How are you doing?

I'd love to hear from you!

Before I broke through the vestibular migraine hold, I felt like I was living behind and viewing my life through a window.  This feeling was every moment of every day.  My body wasn’t allowing me to fully comprehend my surroundings.  I could see but it always felt like I was looking through a window, and sometimes not a very clean one.  In the beginning it was terrifying.  It’s every moment and it’s a thick glassy window. 

I was banging on the window screaming out to the rest of the world and everyone was looking as if to say, “We see you.  You look perfectly fine.” 

Then I’d yell back, “What’s with the window?!”

“What window are you talking about?”, the world responded.

I’d feel a pang in my heart as it started to sink in.  Just because the window was very real for me, in no way meant that the rest of the world could see it.  If you have journeyed with a vestibular something, there’s a good chance you know exactly what I’m saying.

[Note: VeDA states on its website: “…a large portion of people with migraine often have no accompanying pain, their predominant symptom instead being vertigo (a spinning sensation) or dizziness/ disequilibrium (balance loss), mental confusion, disorientation, dysarthria, visual distortion or altered visual clarity, or extremity paresis. This presentation may result in a visit to the emergency room and extensive laboratory, imaging, and other diagnostic evaluations—often with normal results, which lead to increased confusion and anxiety on the part of the patient.”] 

​My understanding of vestibular migraines from the many Vestibular Warriors that I connected with was that I was dealing with a nervous system problem.  My eyes fill with tears as I type those symptoms because each one makes my heart hurt.  Flashes of memories dance in my head.  The dizziness lasted well over a year.  The rocking boat feeling lasted a solid nine months.  The feeling of unease was a part of me for far too long.  My symptoms involved dissociative symptoms, which include derealization (feeling disconnected from your environment) and depersonalization (feeling disconnected from your body), repeated dizziness (or vertigo), nausea and vomiting, balance problems, lightheadedness, photophobia (sensitivity to light), visual issues and feeling unsteady.

Sometimes the window that I looked through would be super clean and I would almost think it wasn’t there but then out of nowhere the smudge would return and my heart would sink.  I just had that thing cleaned, what happened!?  This window stuff sounds sort of trippy, right?  Yeah, that’s my vestibular stuff for you, only there’s no party and no one is on the dance floor, and it’s more like a bad dream that doesn’t quit.

I learned to live from behind this figurative window.  No one else could see it, so it was just a matter of building up my confidence so that I could do everything I once did but this time from behind my window.  In time, I did just that.  Everything I learned to do from behind my window only empowered me on my journey of healing.  I went to work, was a nurturing and caring mother to two little boys, I cooked meals, just simply showed up, found the power in meditation, and eventually found myself running the trails again and finding everything I felt I’d lost- all from behind my window.

I created a beautiful life behind my window and developed a mindset that I could do anything even with my window.  That’s when something magical happened.

Around fifteen months in with symptoms all day, every day to varying degrees, I started to notice that my window was slightly open.  The first time I noticed it, what I felt was pure bliss.  I hadn’t seen life without my window in what felt like an eternity, and I had started to forget what life looked like without it.  I didn’t know whether to sob happy tears or scream, or tell everyone in a one-mile radius, so I just danced in the kitchen (more on that in Uncovering Bliss).

In the beginning the window didn’t stay open completely.  It would open, and stormy days would blow it a bit closed.  Eventually, my toolkit kept it open.

Every day I stop to look at the world longer than I ever did before, because with vestibular stuff there’s a before and after, and my aftermath started out a thick smudgy window with lots of rainy days.  Over time, with persistence, putting self-care first, nourishing my body, refusing to look backwards and finding a doctor who understood, I stepped through.  I thank the universe for giving me the support to shatter my window.  These days I rarely have moments behind it.  It happens here and there, and it again ignites a new sense of gratitude when I find my balance.

​If you’re behind your window, I can step alongside you and point towards the direction of hope.  I want you to know that you’re not alone even though I know behind there it often feels so isolating.  I can only share what has helped me break my window.  By sharing, it heals the pieces of me that were wounded as I pounded that window with my fists and eventually found the hammer to finish the job.  By telling my story all the parts that were bruised as I stepped through the shattered glass are exposed.

For a while I wanted to be all perfectly put together because I figured then the world would never know about my secret window.  Now I want to show the pieces of broken glass, so others know that it’s possible to step through.  It’s not an easy journey and it has certainly left its mark, but that broken glass is now an incredible reminder of the power of the human spirit.

[this post is a chapter from my book, Uncovering Bliss]